Monday, August 16, 2004

Could he BE any more lame?

Alrighty, so I know the weekend has come and gone, but all in all it was a fairly calm weekend- I was even in bed before midnight on Saturday- write that one down in the books. The 2 notable events that occurred were A) seeing singer/songwriter Jeffrey (Buns-of) Steele at 3rd & Lindsley on Friday night (YEAH we did!) and B) going to the first pre-season Titans game of the year against the Cleveland Browns. Props to Rhonda for the Awesome (YEAH they were!) 2nd row, south inzone seats. Our little impromptu tailgating party was pretty fun too. I spent the entire time trying to think of Dom Deloise's name, only to find out later that he's not the chef I was thinking of. He's not even a chef! Who knew? And Rhonda got the Chandler award for the weekend (Hi, I'm Rhonda, could I BE any more on a Chandler kick?)
But we're back at it again folks. I've definitely got a case of the Mondays, but I'm putting on a happy face in order to please my adoring fans. So here's the anecdote of the day. *All names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent*
My friend- we'll call her Louise- gets this email from this guy at church. He's asking her out even though he just met her that morning, does not even know if her name is in fact Louise, is moving in a week, and apologizes after every thought- in fact- this stuff is just too good to be made up, and since we're protecting the names of the innocent anyways, I have to let you read some of the original quotes from this guy's sorry pick-up email:
"I am sorry that I didn't ask for your name but you were in your meeting and I didn't want to make it akward. If that isn't your name...I totally apologize! I was distracted by your definite cuteness." [ok, #1, creepy and stalker-ish. #2, completely lame way to begin an email, and #3, we are in church for goodness sakes! You don't hit on a girl and ask her out after meeting her once- and judging by his email, after not actually having met her- what does that say about your motives??!!]
"Hey listen, I know that I will only be here for another week but you seem super cool and if you aren't seeing anyone...which you probably are... but if you aren't let me know and maybe we can do dinner or desert sometime before I leave next weekend." [and You seem like a super-dork. Again, I question the intentions of our young Romeo... we are in TN... you are moving to CO... what exactly do you hope to gain by this conquest?]
"I can't believe that I just did that!" [neither can we, my friend]
As I told my friend Louise, a few good things came out of this email:
1. a very good laugh on a Monday morning
2. a forewarning to run in the opposite direction in case this gentleman decides CO is not for him and moves
back to TN
3. a new standard by which to judge stalkers and/or lame pick-ups
ie. "Oh, he totally just pulled a Jichael Mett on that one!" or, "well, it's fine if you email him, but just don't
get all Jichael Mett on him" [I know we said we were changing the names to protect the innocent, but
girls, if this guy tries to ask you out, you need to know who he is! Sorry to bust up your game Jichael.]

I think the word you're all struggling to find is tool.

3 comments:

alemari said...

I'm Chandler, could I be wearing any more clothes? This guy is a huge tool... quite amusing though.

Amanda said...

yes- so much of a tool in fact, that I do not mind laughing at his expense.

Ryan Mac said...

Super Cool?
Who is this guy, Greg Brady?
Groovy