Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Come out with your hams up!

Pre-Thanksgiving post number two:

I just went and picked up the ham from the Honey Baked Ham Store in Cool Springs for my mom. It was my first experience in doing so- and let me recommend that if you must make this trip, go at 2 o'clock in the afternoon like I did, because I was able to walk in and walk right back out. I was prepared for much worse, and the velvet ropes that guide you through the store suggest lines might be worse at a later point in the day as well.

Anyways, they have picking up hams down to a science, and as I was led through the small store, following the path marked out by the ropes, I glanced around while I waited for my turn at the next available register, and was shocked by what I saw. There by the door, sitting unobtrusively was a security guard! A security guard in the Honey Baked Ham Store! I made small talk with the cashier and inquired about the need for the added security, and he laughed and made the comment that he thought it was more for the employees' protection than the customers. I can just see it now. Some cheapskate comes in and tries to steal a Thanksgiving ham. Or worse... some wenchy Brentwood soccer mom pitches a fit because she waited til the last minute and expected to waltz in and buy a ham on the spot and gets irate when there is no pork to be had.

I'll see your 5000, and raise you 500

I was on the phone with one of my customers earlier and she asked me if I had seen the Today Show this morning. When I answered no, she told me they had a special report on Thanksgiving and said the Average American consumes a whopping 5,000 calories throughout the day!! And that's just the average! Yikes!

That statistic made me think twice, but I'll probably just do what I normally do in times like these- put whatever I want on my plate and try to keep the portions small. I have a habit of finishing whatever is on my plate so even if I'm full I press on and consume it all, and then of course have desert to fill the notorious "desert pocket" that always needs to be filled. So if I can do damage control up front and not let my eyes get bigger than my stomach I don't have to feel guilty on indulging in whatever I want. For those who'd like to see the Today Show article on how to pare down the hidden calories, and a listing of typical calories in Turkey Day dishes, be my guest. They give you helpful hints like trimming 100 calories off your dish by cutting off the pie crust. I say, why ruin a perfectly good piece of pie by cutting off the best part (and then skipping the whipped cream... Riiiight)! So read at your own risk of feeling guilty, and wanting to tell them to take their reduced calorie Thanksgiving tips and shove them up their turkey

Monday, November 19, 2007

Manly Men

So a group of us had this conversation yesterday and I'd like to open up the floor for discussion. It started off with me recounting to Ariana a recently-viewed FRIENDS episode where Monica is dating Tom Sellick. Bart chimes in that Tom Sellick is such a manly man- a guy's guy. To this Ari & I heartily agreed. So then we proceeded to come up with a short list of other "manly men."
  • Brett Favre
  • Bruce Willis
  • Will Smith
  • Wesley Snipes
  • Robert DeNiro
  • Al Pacino
  • Babe Ruth

Up for debate: Robert Redford, Richard Simmons (just kidding), George Clooney

So I'd like to hear from the peanut gallery. Who do you think qualifies as a manly man? (by definition, a man whom women adore, and guys admire) Do you agree with our choices?

Friday, November 16, 2007

An Opera Opportunity not to be missed

Ugh... Friday afternoons are the worst! The weekend is so close, yet so far away. I should be making calls, but I'd rather blog and tell you what I'm doing this weekend. You the reader will glean more from my blogging than my calling out anyways, so I think the choice is a no-brainer!

Tonight I'm treating myself to an evening of culture. The Nashville Opera is premiering a brand-new opera, never done by another company before, called Elmer Gantry. Based on the novel by the same title, it's an American opera (sung in English) about an early 20th century evangelist named (you guessed it) Elmer Gantry and his rise to fame in rural America. The opera promises to mix classical styles with gospel and hymns for a distinct American flavor. I'm excited too, because Tadders has a small solo role as a member of a gospel quartet. Another interesting thing about this opera is that the male and female leads are a baritone and a mezzo-soprano, instead of your typical wimpy tenor and shrieking soprano. If you're a Nashvillian and you choose to go, click here or here for more info!

Tomorrow's schedule proves to be a busy one: yoga, followed by a breakfast with 2 of my favorite gals, MA & Emmy Sue. The UK game comes on at 11:30, and then tomorrow night we're celebrating Lana & Siebe's birthdays at the ever-trendy Cabana. Mix in some boxing and packing and moving, and you've got yourself and action-packed weekend!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Change: You can bank on it.

I'm a self-proclaimed Change hater. Moving is never fun for me. I'm still figuring out how to stay caught up on Grey's Anatomy when it comes on at the same time as The Office on Thursday nights (why did you switch from Sundays to Thursdays ABC?! A curse upon you!) And a few months ago when Regions Bank took over AmSouth I put off activating my new Green card as long as possible in a feeble attempt to hang onto my trusty royal blue Amsouth card as long as I could. Change is inevitable in life, and it's happening all around me. I just was made aware of it this morning as I finally heaved a sigh of reluctant acceptance, and decided to bite the bullet and update my bookmarks on my yahoo homepage.

I have all of my important and highly used web pages bookmarked on my yahoo home page so that they're all easily accessible. So I resolved to update them all this morning.
"Amsouth" became "Regions Bank."
"Cingular" became "AT&T."
"MBNA" became "Bank of America."
And as I stared at my now unrecognizable list of bookmarked pages I felt as though I had stepped into an alternate universe! What is going on in our society of conglomerates and corporate buy-outs? What happened to stability and a company name you can trust? I don't adjust easily to this. Mentally I still think "cingular bill" for my cell phone, and if I'd wanted an account with Bank of America instead of MBNA I would have signed up for one with them in the first place! Don't settle too much, because a bigger and better company will come along and buy out your trusted business before you know it.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Rascal Just Flat Can't Sing

I have been scouring the Internet in the days that followed Wednesday night's CMA award show to find articles critiquing the show's musical performances, and there are none to be found! Please send them my way, or include links to them in your comments if you find them (Mark Kelly Hall, I'm talking to you) because I am baffled no one else has taken this opportunity to laugh at the atrocity that ended the CMA's.

Here's my beef: I admit, I missed most of the televised broadcast, but managed to see Kellie Pickler sing (great dress, bad, bad helmet hair- she channeled Lori Morgan!). Everyone has seemingly overlooked her mediocre vocals for the dramatic, choked-up performance, where she finished the autobiographical song about her mom in tears. I also got to see Brad Paisley win male vocalist of the year and couldn't have been more thrilled. Kenny won entertainer of the year (again) in a category dominated (again) by males. But here was my favorite part- so bad, it was good: the collaboration between Rascal Flats and Jaime Foxx.

Apparently ABC prepped you for this bit of entertainment all night, using every commercial break to announce the upcoming performance. And it lived up to the hype alright, if entertainment is what you were going for. The lead singer of this pop- I mean country- band tried to demonstrate vocal acrobatics usually reserved for the likes of Beyonce (or Jaime Foxx!), and apparently, his voice was shot, and this just did not bode well for him. I am not kidding you when I say something was Not Right, as the duo singing were not even in the same key, and I was laughing too much to be able to listen well! I have no problem with artists of different genres collaborating, but poor Jaime just embarrassed himself in the r&b world by showing his face on stage with those clowns. I am guilty of listening to Rascal Flatts and yes, owning an album or two, but it always amuses me to hear artists live and then realize how much work and production goes into an album to dupe the general public and make us think they can really sing when they can't. Apparently Rascal Flat's first performance of the night (yes, they got two!) was just as bad, but for political reasons, the TV producers decided they warranted 2 songs, when poor Tracy Lawrence lost his performance spot altogether!

My theory as to why there have been no negative articles regarding the CMA performances is that Rascal Flats is a big time act in Nashville and no one wants to piss them off. Well I have no qualms making my opinions known here, and if the county muzik mafia wants to censor my blog and come and get me for saying anything negative towards the golden boys and their gelled hair, I invite the challenge! And remember, send me those articles that discuss the awards show because I am eager to re-live the vocal monstrosity all over again by reading it in print!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Blindsighted with this song... and lint

Today was a very sad day for me. I had to bust out the wool winter coat for the first time this year. It also was the first day for my winter staple wardrobe to emerge: the jeans and turtleneck combo. Today's choice: Black- slimming, and sheik. It's also a recipe for a lint disaster with black clothes and long blonde hairs that show up on everything. My personal favorite quote of the day occurred during an impromptu Panera lunch with fellow DIVA Ari regarding said lint:

"Me and my lint brush are going to spend some quality time together when I get back to the office."

In other bits of random news surrounding the blogging-neglectful-DIVA, the 80's song Blinded By the Light has been following me everywhere. I heard it 3 times on my way down to Florida this weekend, and it popped up again last night in a movie I was watching. What's so funny about this, is that for the life of me I could not understand the words to the chorus of the song. Here's what I thought they were saying:

Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a duschon in the rumor of the night. (I know, right? What's a duschon? Well, it's kind of like an Ex-pecks-a-pounder.)

I texted Ari on Saturday morning when the song came on the radio for the second time, knowing she'd be awake, and knowing that she'd have the answer. Turns out, the lyrics are actually:

Blinded by the light. Revved up like a duce, another runner in the night. Yeah... cause that makes SO much more sense! But really, the important question is, who's excited about the return of the random afternoon blogging?

Friday, November 02, 2007

happy birthday to me!

Yes, it's true... I can no longer in good conscience claim to be in my "mid-twenties." So I am embracing my late twenties, for what it's worth! Though about 40 degrees too cool in my book (a chilly 38 degrees on my way to work this morning!), I was greeted to my frost-covered car by the beaming sunshine, and a nice suprise of already-scraped-car-windows (thanks to one of my kind & considerate roommates)! And this was after the traditional birthday chocolate chip pancake breakfast prepared by chefs Natalie, Emily, and Mary Anna.

The pancakes were yummy, but it caused me to run slightly late for work- about 17 minutes late approximately! I got an unexpected hug from my dad in the Brentwood Benson parking lot, as he was waiting on me to say happy birthday on his way to work. Once I got up to my cubicle, completely flustered about being late, I was greeted with a balloon and some chocolate covered strawberries left by my dad! He had been upstairs waiting on me, but finally gave up on me and was leaving, when I saw him in the parking lot! It was really sweet, and all my coworkers got to hang out with my dad this morning. Apparently he showed up at 10 till 8 and my friend Mark asked my dad, do you Know your daughter?! Implying of course that I am Never here that early! ha

I feel showered with love from my family and friends, as is evident from the grand gestures, and all the emails, e-cards, phone calls, and Myspace/Facebook comments. It's so funny how the "friends" you never talk to for the rest of the year will take the time to post birthday comments! Thanks to you all, both genuine and fake e-friends, for your birthday well-wishes.

The rest of the day's plans to celebrate my 27th year include lunch with coworkers at Moe's, and a low-key family dinner at Bonefish Grill, where Laura promised to cut the skin off my trout so that I'm not face to face with any "fish scales." I know... I'm so weird!