Tuesday, August 30, 2005
And so yesterday I came into work and everyone was all abuzz keeping up with the hurricane. My boss Joel knows how much I'm into following these storms, and he told me that since I've been working here, I have brought 2 hurricanes our way up to TN. "I bring the hurricanes with me," I said. "That's your new nickname," he exclaimed. "What? Hurricane Bradley?" I asked. "No," he replied. "Just The Hurricane. And you have to refer to yourself in 3rd person- ie. The Hurricane is not happy with you. The hurricane would appreciate it if you would get out of her way."
So from now on, you may all refer to me as the Hurricane if you wish.
(Yeah... we'll do anything for entertainment around the office!)
Monday, August 29, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Somewhere in the course of those 3 hours, my attitude gradually changed from bitter and out-of-sorts to giggley and grateful for the wonderful friends I have in my life- maybe it had something to do with the gab fest we had afterwards,each of us one-upping each other with funny stories about work and friends ("Have you seen the nipples," Lisa?), Sarah's synopsis of the Crunk-umentary movie, "Rise," or being content to stand in the kitchen for 30 minutes finalizing details of our awesome weekend ahead. But by 10 till 10 when everyone finally left, I was giddy and not anywhere ready to go to sleep.
Em wandered in my room and picked up my bottle of Coconut Lime Verbena lotion, opened it, and sniffed. "What is it about this stuff that smells so good?" she wondered aloud. "I would say the coconut," I said. I paused. "Or the Lime. Or the Verbena."
"No seriously, this stuff smells good enough to eat," she said.
"well why don't you?" I dared.
"No way! I'm not eating it!"
"Come on, just a little taste."
"N0. You taste it."
Well, I couldn't back down since I was the one who started it. How bad could it be? I mean, one taste wouldn't kill me, and it did smell quite heavenly.
"Ok. Fine. I will..."
... I know the suspense is killing you ...
so yeah, I put a teeny bit on my finger and touched it to my tongue. At first taste it was pretty yummy but then it burned going down and a disgusting lotion taste was left in my mouth for the next 15 minutes or so. I do not recommend eating lotion, for future reference. No matter how good it smells, do not, I repeat, do not eat the lotion! You should be so lucky, that I took one for the team all in the name of research, and did the unthinkable for you all, so you wouldn't have to.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
We had a LONG overdue SOGWEAW lunch (not luncheon, because I hate that word) yesterday afternoon at the new Moe's in Brentwood (Welcome to Mooooooeeeee's!). While eating and enjoying our lunch we covered such important topics as when to say "I love you" in a relationship, Che Guevara and communism, and Lana's wisdom teeth; a breadth of important issues, you will note- the latter being the initiator of an eruption of laughter heard 'round the restaurant, according to Ari who was unfortunately in the Ladies room when Lana described where she thought her wisdom teeth were currently residing in her mouth, and the direction the teeth were pointed... "at least I think that's where they are," Lana said. "I don't read x-rays." I found this particularly hilarious and so more of the table was laughing at me laughing than they were at Lana's totally serious, totally innocent comment.
Across town in a Brentwood home, far away from the excitement at Moe's, a young girl brought her gourmet meat, cheese, and bread home to enjoy. Her name is Laura, and this is her story.
My sister Laura is an amateur chef, and so she loves those hoity-toity gourmet food markets. Yesterday she bought some fresh deli meat, some kind of cheese that she has discovered she has a taste for (manchego? ever heard of it?), some wine, and a french baguette. She takes her food purchases home to the house for a while before she packs it all up in a cooler to go home to her apartment in Murfreesboro. Upon pulling out of the driveway, Laura realizes she has forgotten the french baguette, wrapped in its paper bag, on the kitchen table. She does the obvious thing and goes back inside to retrieve her bread, but comes quickly to the stark realization that it was not there! (cue the mysterious music)
Laura rethinks her steps, trying to figure out if perhaps she was mistaken and the french baguette was indeed already in the car, but she was certain it was not. There could only be one explanation to conclude the disappearance of her dinner bread, and as she peered cautiously into the den, her worst fears were realized. As it turns out, a four legged monster with black fur named Stockwell had devoured her fancy-schmancy french baguette, paper and all, as was evident by the bown paper shreds all over the floor. Are we surprised? This is the same dog who ate Mom's fresh cake she bought from the Mennonite ladies, or my box of Godiva truffles a few years ago and lived to tell the tale (or tale, since we are talking about Stockwell here).
This turn of events was enough to ruin Laura's day, as she gets her heart set on a particular meal once she has it in mind. She did buy some publix bread to stand in as a poor substitute, but the baguette was simple irreplaceable. The most amusing part is that Stockwell knows good food when he smells it, and if you threw a regular piece of break at him, he would turn his nose up at it. Sorry Laura, but I hope you don't mind us laughing at your expense!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
The Blue-Like-Jazzers spent last night with the author of our current study book, one Donald Miller. Em and I got there first to save seats, and we were peering at the men in the front of the room curiously, trying to decide which of them was Donald Miller. We found one gentleman who seemed to fit the part- he was in his 30s, had funky, blonde hair, wore flip flops with his blazer and T; Yes. This, we decided, was Donald Miller. Because this author is "cool," and this blonde trendy guy looked like a Donald to me! As it turns out, trendy blonde guy was not our guy at all, but rather one of the worship leaders. It figures the trendy guy would be a music person. I should have known better. Donald Miller ended up looking not at all what I would have pictured. He's a "Fatty Mcfunny!" Em and I exclaimed once we discovered the author's identity.
(sidenote: the term Fatty McFunny term is meant to be endearing and not offensive. It denotes my personal preference in guys who have a great sense of humor and are built like a Teddy Bear or a football player- they have some stock and meat on their bones. I think it stems from my desire as a girl to feel protected and safe with a guy she is dating. Also my dad is not a small man, so take that Freudian philosophy as you will. end sidenote)
So Donald ended up being this 6 foot 3-ish jolly, 34 year-old, happy-go-lucky guy, and of course, he did not disappoint us in the humor department. Yet he was able to command the audience's attention and bring home poignant thoughts on the lack of our fundamentalist Christianity. He espoused beliefs on adhering to a set of principles or following these amount of steps in this number of days to be considered a Christian. Instead, he proceeded, it is all meant to be about relationships. The metaphors in the Bible, he said, the shepherd to the sheep, the father to the son, the bride to the bridegroom, all describe how we are to view our relationship with Christ. To Love, Donald reminded us, is to give up everything to be with that person- in life and in death. Anything less than that kind of love cheapens love altogether. So it forced me to think. Here in Postmodern America, where I have never experienced any kind of threat to freely practice my religion, have I really died to self? Have I really given up everything to be with Christ? Have I really given up anything at all?
I know the answer is yes, I have made sacrifices along the way to deepen my relationship with God, but they have been small in comparison to many. I long to figure out the so-called reckless abandonment that comes with fully loving God, and living my life with an eternal perspective.
Then Donald Miller got to the crux of his talk. He started drawing all these religious parallels between Romeo and Juliet and the struggle of Shakespere's day between the Catholics and the Protestants, also Christ's relationship to the church- but I'm not sure how much I buy into all that. At the very least, it gave me something to research further for myself, and really made me want to go home and watch Baz Lurhman's Romeo & Juliet!
Lisa, Mary Anna and I stood in line afterwards and got our picture with him. He seemed genuinely surprised that we would find his book worthy of a Bible study topic, and was really a nice guy to meet.
Monday, August 22, 2005
"when did you get your hair cut?"
to which Emily replies,
"a few weeks ago."
"But it wasn't that short when I saw you last Sunday at Cracker Barrell,"
Mom commented. All of a sudden, Emily gets this funny look on her face and says,
"I didn't go to Cracker Barrell last Sunday."
Well everybody starts dying laughing, because Mom and Dad swear up and down that they saw Em and even talked to her! Apparently Emily's Bizzaro twin pretended like she knew Mom and Dad, gave Mom a hug, and told them she couldn't talk because she was on the phone with her friend from Spain!
There is a Seinfeld episode that talks about how everybody has a bizarro twin somewhere in the world- a person who looks exactly like you but is no relation whatsoever. I have come to the conclusion that Emily's Bizarro twin lives in the Cool Springs area.
Either that, or both of my parents are seeing things; kind of like, big, big birds on the roof of our house...
Friday, August 19, 2005
Take these chanceeeesssss, place them in a box until a quieter time, lights down you up and die!
Oh sorry- wrong animals marching. But the movie was fantastic. Hearing Morgan Freeman narrate I kept expecting to see Tim Robbins show up in a prison uniform but still the movie did not disapoint. The film follows the trek of the Emporer penguins from the ocean to their mating ground 70 miles away, and ends back in the ocean with the baby penguins. There is phenomenal footage shot from antartica and the whole spectacle caused my friends and I to wonder how anybody can doubt the existence of God when the animals have this "unexplained" process down to an art. Def. a must see.
Sorry to cut this short, but things are hectic already. Have a good 'un.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The artist formerly known as P. Diddy, who was the artist formally known as Puff Daddy, also the artist formerly known as Sean Puffy Combs, and you guessed it, the artist formerly known as simply Sean Combs, has changed his name once again. He shall now be referrred to as just "Diddy." Yes, you heard me correctly- P Diddy has dropped the P like a bad Mase record. And the hip-hop mogul (there's that word again) even brought it upon himself to make this announcement formal on NBC's Today Show yesterday!! “I felt the ‘p’ was coming between me and my fans,” says Diddy. Katie Couric feigns interest: “Wow…” (what. a diddy.)
smile, and enjoy your wednesday- the work week is at its glorious mid-point.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Ok, those first two pictures I posted don't even really look like Wilson. Here are some new ones from last night. This is Wilson asleep in his "Moses basket." I keep calling him, "my little burrito." As you can see, he loves to have his hand up next to his face. I promise not to keep posting a million pictures, but i wanted you to all see a more realistic picture of him. Mom and Dad are doing well - pretty tired, but they're hanging in there. How cute is he?
Friday, August 12, 2005
Seriously...anyone who wants to witness a miracle...just wait until someone close to you has a baby. It's absolutely amazing.
Meet my nephew, Robert "Wilson" Borders, born yesterday August 11th at 1:35 pm. He weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and measured 19 1/2 inches. He is so adorable and has the cutest shriek of a cry. It's probably not so cute at 2 am, but I found it endearing none the less. So from now on, I'll probably never see any of you ever again, because I'll be with Wilson. It's been nice knowing you, though...really! :)
I'll post more as I get them - these are the only ones my mom sent. I'll be sure to post some of Wilson and me.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Instead, a co-worker Joel, brought up an interesting point this morning. Why is it when talking about a sandwich, we refer to it as "tuna fish." Why not just say, I went to the store to buy a can of tuna- no wait- that's from a theater monologue I did in high school- but no, instead we usually refer to this smelly food as "tuna fish." Of course I am not a fan of tuna fish (or any fish really...), but why ever say "Tuna fish?" Why not just tuna? You call it "swordfish" or "catfish" because there is something other than an aquatic being that shares its name. Otherwise, I might confuse it. Do you have a feline or a fish for a pet? If you just say "cat," I might assume the first- and we all know what happens when one assumes. But really, what if I do have an aquarium in my apartment, and I own a pet catfish? (Aren't their whiskers cute?) I'd have to be specific by saying "catfish." But as far as I know, there is no other tuna by any other name that would smell as sweet. So let's all make a conscious effort from now on to call it by its proper name- Tuna.
Because remember, you can tune a piano... But you can't tune a fish.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
(Quick aside. This just in. Florida might need to drop the name ''Marlins.'' The NCAA has just voted to eliminate Native American Billfish nicknames. Now back to the column).
Yeah. Sorry bout it, but I got nothin.
aaaaaand, I'm spent.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
7:30 am- the time I leave the Penthouse to go to work.
7:37 am- the time Rhonda Lu woke me up this morning.
eek and Egads. Apparently my alarm shuts off after snoozing for an hour, and when that hour came and went this morning and I was still asleep. It's an awful feeling waking up more rested than usual but full of dread knowing you're going to be super-late to work. Good to know about that alarm thing though. My name is Amanda, and I'm addicted to snoozing. Yes, that's right- I've admitted my addiction and said it out loud. I'm a snoozer. So sue me.
Anywho- everybody and their dog is ordering Christmas music right now, so it's our busy season at work. I know many of you are disapointed when Monday hits and there's no weekend update blog, so here we go, a day late and a dollar short.
My weekend got started on Friday afternoon with a happy hour at Cozy Mel's with all the girls from work. It's so much fun to hang out with work people outside of work because they act differently, and talk about non-work-related topics, so you realy get to know a person in this environment. Later I met up with Ari and her crew for a little birthday celebration hang-out time, followed by a late night at the Brentwood Waff. Y'all, I am not kidding, we had the scariest guy waiting on us, and every time he came to ask us if we needed anything I burst out in nervous giggles! It made for an interesting couple of hours. (Shout to Rhonda, the ex Waffle House waitress- you know how I like my hashbrowns- scattered, covered, smothered, & diced!) (ps, whoever decided that "chunked" would be a great way to serve hashbrowns is dumb, because the word chunk is just Not appetizing.) (and FYI, Rhonda really was never a WH waitress, she just lied and told me that one time and I believed her.) So that was Friday.
I slept in on Saturday, laid out for a few hours at the pool with Em & Rhonda, tried to read an article about the Pope in my New Yorker magazine, and my gosh, you practically have to have a phd to understand anything in that article, so I traded that in for something that was more condusive to poolside reading- my In Style magazine. Man, I love that thing! It's my monthly treat! Sat night we had a Ginormous group go bowling for Emily's birthday. Mary Anna made cupcakes, Lana brought her bowling shoes (I don't know why that's funny to me!), and Brad Johnson and I made up what we liked to call Golf Bowling- lowest score wins! Brad won once and I won once. It was a sad night at the Franklin Lanes for us! Lisa and Mary Anna tried to capture on film what they like to call "that aint right" moments so they could post them to their blog. Not sure if they found any blogworthy shots, but we all had a ton of fun. Later Em and I fell asleep watching Shag for the finale of the birthday celebration.
Sunday was pretty laid back- an usually unscheduled day for me- until 6 oclock when we got my small group and Allison's small groups together for a dinner at Allison's condo. The food of course was great- you can never have too many deserts- and the conversation spanning a variety of topics such as Michael Bolton: lame, or gulity pleasure?, classic Nick-at-Night shows such as Salute your Shorts, Hey Dude, and You Can't Do That On Television, rapping through the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (Weez, I thought of you!), Bathroom Antics Part 2: the ghostwipe and "stalling out," and oh-so many more. Afterwards Mary Anna and I wasted brain cells and $8.50 a piece on Wedding Crashers. Don't go unless you're a guy- it's more of a rental-esque movie. But it was fun getting to hang out with her at least.
So anyways-the birthday celebrations are finite, the weekend is a distant memory, and it's another busy day here. Kairos tonight. Lots more churches to sell choir music to. Hope you're enjoying your Tuesday, wherever you are!
Friday, August 05, 2005
While in the restroom here at work lately I've noticed that there is this lady who every time she enters a bathroom stall, there follows a rattling of paper. Of course I'm already in a separate stall so I couldn't figure out what all the rattling was about. I kept thinking, is she opening a new roll of TP every time she goes to the bathroom? That's a little OCD, don't you think? But then it dawned on me yesterday: she's one of those people who use the paper seat protectors.
I always see them in the dispensers on the wall here in our bathrooms right next to the sinks but thought, who actually uses those here? We're all friends; we're all sisters in Christ here- we work together every day. Are we so mistrustful of one another that we have a need for paper toilet seat protectors? I mean, in a public bathroom, yes, by all means, go ahead and partake of the paper seat-protectors, or use a few strips of TP to protect you from those nasty germs, but here at work? Please!
It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine freaks out that her co-worker is using a p.t.s.p. but it's weird especially for Elaine, because the only women using this particular bathroom are Elaine and this other lady. Elaine feels insulted- does this co-worker think she's dirty and full of germs? And I feel insulted as well! I shower. I keep clean. And in fact, I read a study the other day that claims you are more likely to pick up germs in your office cubical environment than you are in a public restroom toilet. Apparently there are more germs lurking in the air you breathe and share with your co-workers at your desk than there are say, in an LA McDonalds bathroom. So what are we paper-protecting ourselves from? Wouldn't it make more sense to cover our desks at work and phones and computer keyboards with fitted, disposable paper covers? I mean, heck, I'm probably contracting some dreadful disease just typing this to you right now- that's right people, I am risking my life for you. Sure makes you think about using that p.t.s.p. next time doesn't it?
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Last night dad and I enjoyed one of the coolest concerts either of us will ever attend. Tom T. Hall (who most of you who are reading this have never even heard of), is a favorite of Dad's, and has become a favorite of mine over the years. This was a rare appearance for Tom T. who has long since been retired, but he still had the audience in stitches with his stories, and his clear, recognizable voice kept me holding my breath until each song was over. We were fortunate enough to have front row seats, so I got some great pictures and even some (Sssh!) video of some of the stories he told. Dad looked around the audience and saw several industry people he knew who were all sitting behind us, and he just grinned as he stated proudly that we got to sit on the front row with Miss Dixie. (Miss Dixie of course, is Tom T.'s wife.)
I was raised listening to the story songs of Tom T. Hall. If you want to study some clever songwriting, take a look at The Storyteller's lyrics. He puts stories in words the way you would hear them spoken, and paints word pictures so strongly that even on a first hearing you can follow every image in your head. He told the story behind my all-time favorite Tom T. song last night, which he told us ahead of time, would be his encore! ("I don't believe in planned encores," he said. "If you plan on doing it, it's just another song.") He had a friend who was a psychiatrist- "I couldn't afford to be a patient, so I was just a friend," Tom said. His psychiatrist friend suggested he make a list every day of all his problems in life, that way when Tom read through them he would see that there were fewer problems in his life than he originally thought, and would discover how trivial some of these problems were in reality. Well this activity depressed Tom T., so he decided instead to make a list of all the things he loved, came up with the song "I Love."
I love, little baby ducks, old pickup trucks, slow moving trains, and rain.
I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, sunday school in may, And hay
And I love you too
I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels
I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass
and I love you too
I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions
I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it’s good, and life
And I love you too
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
We went to Jonathan's to celebrate Ari's birthday last night- we, being myself, Angela, Ari, and Flyboy, who drove in from Texas as a surprise to the birthday girl. Singing 3 part harmony over the music at the bar- is there anything more fun? We should take our act on the road, girls! I left Jonathan's late, and then ran into my Walmart Neighborhood Grocery to gather supplies to prepare for the next birthday, which happens to be today. (Happy 23 Emmy Sue!) Here I am, about to pass out from exhaustion, and I'm baking cupcakes at 12:30!!! I think I ate about as much cake batter as I put in the cupcakes!! (Isn't that the best way to bake though?) Needless to say I was a little loopy this a.m. when Rhonda and I got up to finish decorating the 'birthday hallway' in the Penthouse and make the birthday girl the traditional chocolate chip pancakes!
Man, oh man, is that coffee working though! 4 cups later and I'm going strong here at bbmpi today. Good thing too, cause it's a busy one; lunch plans with a friend from "Pirates in my Pants" and then a date night with Dad tonight to see Tom T. Hall. Finally, we culminate by celebrating the birthday of Miss Emily Elizabeth Borders, affectionately known as Emmy Sue, e.e. borders or soon-to-be Auntie Em!
Em is 23 years old today (yep, she's a youngin) (but not as young as me- remember, I'm 21 and in college!), and a fellow Native Nashvillian. There are few of us out there, so we stick together! Little known facts about Emily: she makes a mean chocolate chip bundt cake (not sure what the official name of that tasty treat is, but trust me, it's yummy), she cheerleaded in high school, does an amazing elephant impersonation complete with arm motions, and is the voice of reason and maturity in the Penthouse even though she's the youngest of the 3 roommates! Emily enjoys cheering on her Baylor Bears, watching (and falling asleep to) the classic 80's movie "Shag," and wows us occasionally with her hot dance moves! Have a great day, Emmy Sue!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Once upon a time, 24 years ago to the day precisely, there was a beautiful princess born in the Bluegrass state. Her name was Princess Celia Ariana Bryant, but nobody could pronounce that, so everyone just called her Ari. Ari spent her childhood roaming about the country with her mother, Queen Celia, until finally, one day, the beautiful Princess Ari was all grown up, and desired to go to school. Being a Muggle with no magical powers, she was not admitted into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, so she settled for a school in the Commonwealth of Kentucky; a little school called UK, which happened to be known for their basketball almost as much as their pension for attracting men of the homosexual nature (Oh wait- maybe those were just our friends). Either way, Princess Ari decided to study music and it was there that she met her fellow DIVA Amanda.
DIVA Amanda was a priss and wannabe princess from Nashville,TN, and Princess Ari was not so sure she was going to like Amanda. For Amanda, you see, liked the Backstreet Boys at that point in time, and this made her very uncool in Princess Ari's world. Conversely, Princess Ari was loud and opinionated and DIVA Amanda was not sure she and Princess Ari would get along. One day these two unlikely friends discovered their joint dislike of a mean, evil professor named Dr. J, and this bonded them together, and they were the best of friends forevermore.
To this day, if you see Princess Ari or DIVA Amanda they are not far from each other's thoughts, and they enjoy encouraging one another in their quest to find their respective (prospective?) handsome princes.
Monday, August 01, 2005
But of course, I have to get my two-cents in as well, so here are the weekend highlights, according to yours truly:
- *eating Momma B's chocolate chip cookies in the car on the way to Blacksburg
- *finally meeting "Craig & Jenny" aka Heather and Jacob's married couple friends, Joe & Jana
- *sadly enough, yes, getting lost on a loop hiking trail around a mountain lake... it was not what I was thinking when I suggested we go on a hike in the mountains of Virginia... I admit I was picturing more of a Radnor Lake-esque trail but with more of an incline... nice wide paths lined with cedar chips- none of this scaling rocks and dodging sketchy holes that looked like they might house a family of snakes... hmmm. (This made me decide that once in New York I'm going to find a gym with Virtual Hiking- a stair climber and a video screen in front to give the illusion of hiking outdoors!) (This is an awfully long bullet point, don't you think?)
- *Must Love Romantic Comedies, but Must Love Dogs was two thumbs up if you do!
- *Beating Heather in a 3am game of Pop-culture Trivial Pursuit
- *eating Momma B's chocolate chip cookies for breakfast
- *laughing hysterically at the geek who wrote out the number Pi in the dust on the front window of the Virginia Tech Engineering bldg.
- *giggling with Heather as we wrote "helpful" formulas such as a2 + b2 = c2 and E=MC2 on Jacob's office research marker board
- *helping out the Roanoke Lifeway store by straightening their shelves... force of habit for me and Heather
- *finishing off those yummy chocolate chip cookies... I don't think Jacob even had one!
- *Singing Ray Charles a la Rudy Huckstable
- *hearing Heather tell "The Fishes of the Sea" story on Jacob and laughing each time as it got funnier (for us, anyways!)
- *Music theory lessons with Heather in the OG, and in the shoe section of Dick's Sporting Goods (keep working on those "fractions" Weez)
- *the bizzare feelings of being uprooted from a subway in Manhattan one weekend to the rolling hills and small town life of Blacksburg, VA the next!
- *and finally... seeing my "best friend Heather from home." You may know her as HBo, Weezer, or Heather Bowlman, but she's my oldest pal, and it was great to spend some time with her and Cubby Hubby Jacob as well. (Thanks Jake for going to the Chic movie with us!) See you in 2 weeks, H!