Friday, August 05, 2005

bathroom antics

For those of you who rely on this site as a source of sheer entertainment, you're in for a real treat today I think. For the minority of readers who were expecting a profound political statement or some morsel of useful knowledge, you're out of luck today (and pretty much every day for that matter)!

While in the restroom here at work lately I've noticed that there is this lady who every time she enters a bathroom stall, there follows a rattling of paper. Of course I'm already in a separate stall so I couldn't figure out what all the rattling was about. I kept thinking, is she opening a new roll of TP every time she goes to the bathroom? That's a little OCD, don't you think? But then it dawned on me yesterday: she's one of those people who use the paper seat protectors.

I always see them in the dispensers on the wall here in our bathrooms right next to the sinks but thought, who actually uses those here? We're all friends; we're all sisters in Christ here- we work together every day. Are we so mistrustful of one another that we have a need for paper toilet seat protectors? I mean, in a public bathroom, yes, by all means, go ahead and partake of the paper seat-protectors, or use a few strips of TP to protect you from those nasty germs, but here at work? Please!

It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine freaks out that her co-worker is using a p.t.s.p. but it's weird especially for Elaine, because the only women using this particular bathroom are Elaine and this other lady. Elaine feels insulted- does this co-worker think she's dirty and full of germs? And I feel insulted as well! I shower. I keep clean. And in fact, I read a study the other day that claims you are more likely to pick up germs in your office cubical environment than you are in a public restroom toilet. Apparently there are more germs lurking in the air you breathe and share with your co-workers at your desk than there are say, in an LA McDonalds bathroom. So what are we paper-protecting ourselves from? Wouldn't it make more sense to cover our desks at work and phones and computer keyboards with fitted, disposable paper covers? I mean, heck, I'm probably contracting some dreadful disease just typing this to you right now- that's right people, I am risking my life for you. Sure makes you think about using that p.t.s.p. next time doesn't it?


Anonymous said...

I love that seinfeld episode. Its the lady that called elaine suzi. She is a germ-a-phob as putty put it.

Emily Volman said... first comment to your blog! How exciting!

Though I have two comments...actually.

1) If that lady is concerned about germs, she really shouldn't be getting that close to the toilet with a p.t.s.p. anyway! She should do what I do (even at my own home) and HOVER! And she should not flush with her hand, she should use her foot. Then she should never touch the faucet with her fingers and be sure to use a paper towel to open the door. You can also tell her to contact me...I know a great place to buy whole body condoms.

2) When you say "an LA McDonald's bathroom", are you referring to Los Angeles or Louisiana? I just needed to know which was dirtier. Thanks.

jillymae said...

LA can also be "Lower Alabama" (to us natives) which I believe to be FAR dirtier than the (not so) angelic city or the swamp.

Anonymous said...

Methinks you've scared off your friend He-B-Dee with your frequent quality posts on varieties of subjects -- because that is a tough bar to reach for a new blogger (plus, your comments on proper grammar and blog punctuation have been enlightening)... and we all know how we love run-on sentences...

Any-hoo... all for now... have a pink week...