A Man, duh

I am a pretty traditional girl I think. I appreciate chivalry even though it has long since been dead, and expect certain behavior from guys not because I think I am special and deserve it, but because I think every girl is special and deserves it. I just appreciate having a guy around to do things for me that I can't do, such as get an accurate quote from a car maintenance place (do you Really need that axel replaced Rhonda?) or killing spiders- things of that nature. In fact, one of my favorite quotes is "Never do for yourself what man can do for you." Of course there are times when I want to assert my independence and do something for myself. Case in point. Dena, my coworker, and I were told to contact Richard, our maintenance guy here at the B&J, when our printer cartridge needed replacing. We are not idiots, it's just kind of a complicated process to change it. End of disclaimer. Well we paged him a few times with no answer, so I took matters into my own hands and tore into the box and figured out how to replace the thing myself. "See?" I said to Dena, "We don't need a man to do stuff for us." No, she said, "we don't need a man when we have aMANda." I appreciated the pun, as it is something horribly akin to to my own usually awful puns. Maybe it's one of those YHTBT things, but it amused me.

Name That Apartment

And now it's time for our newest game, Name That Apartment!!! We've had the Sugarshack. Been there, done that. Angie B. has her very own Bowspoon Estates. Now the Three Amigas need a pet name for their new digs. Located in the very prime location of the Preserve, we need a catchy and fun name for our humble abode that will convey the funness (is that a word George W?) that will take place here, and the fantabulous girls who will be residing there. We are down to the wire here- only a week away and still no name, so get those creative juices flowing. The winner gets a prize to be determined by me, Rhonda and Em- hey, maybe a party to Christen the place?? (Maayyyyybee... maaaaayyyybe not)

Rainy days and Mondays...

Yes, you guessed it. They always get me down. The alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. I hit snooze until 6:26. So much for getting to work early. Now when I left the house this a.m. the sun was shining. I was in a fine mood- wearing pink (of course) and even had on my matching pink j-lo shades. But hark! What was this? A little rain cloud decided to follow me from my house all the way to work. None of my friends got rained on during their morning commute. I must just be *that* lucky. But my little friend the rain cloud decided to turn into a full-on Monsoon, and I got completely soaked walking up to the B&J. Yes, I had an umbrella. Yes it is also pink. But there were unavoidable rivers of water that I had to cross on the trek up to the back door. My pants were soaked from the knees down, and my black slingbacks were little swimming pools for my feet. I am not kidding you. Once inside, I took turns dumping water out of each shoe and placing the squishy monstrosity back on my foot. What a way to start out a Monday, and this all happened before 8 am! To add to the joy of the day, I get to go buy new tires for Baby Boy Thomas this afternoon. Apparently I've been driving around with a few nails in my back right tire. What the??? Yes folks, it looks like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. And yes, I'd like some cheese with my whine. Or wine would be nice right about now. Hmm...

Bears and Beer?

Ok yall, I heard about this on the radio yesterday morning and found an article about it that you all need to read. It's about a bear getting drunk on some campers' beer in Washington State. I mean it, you just can't make this stuff up. Life is funny enough without fiction.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to welcome 2 of the newest members of the blogger community and future roommates, Rhonda Lu and Emmy Sue. Let's give 'em a big round of applause. I take full credit for the creation of these blogs by the way. The pressure just got to be too great.

Pillow Fight Club

Alright- after much searching online this was the best pic I could find of Brad's cafe latte muscles, or whatever Jill said they were called- I swear, I sacrifice so much for you people- I'm trying to work here, honestly! This is an older picture from Fight Club which is one of the coolest movies ever made. I know Brad looks kind of, well, beat up, but the number one rule of Fight Club is that you do not talk about fight club, so he couldn't really tell anyone what was going on. I kid, I kid....But seriously- it's an awesome movie. Eddie Norton is superb in this film, and we all know my affections for Brad. (Hey, anyone who can think he looks good in 12 Monkeys is a devoted fan in my book) Fight Club is in my top 3 coolest movies ever, along with the Godfather and the Usual Suspects. Ohh, is that the one about the hooker with, um, dysentery?
On a sidenote, there were these kids on North campus back in the day who used to have this thing every Tuesday Night called Pillow Fight Club. You'd have to understand UK to know that north campus is where all the honors students, kids who cared more about studying than having a social life, and artsy people lived, to understand the implication that comes when i say "north campus." (Sorry Ari, but you know it's true) (Girl you know it's true... hoo ho hooooo... I love you...) I of course ran as far as I could from this side of campus and made my home on the much more social end of South Campus, where people threw snowballs from the bushes at the pizza delivery guy so he couldn't get into B-tower one winter night. Now *that* was funny. We wer some intelijunt kidz at that ther Kintuckee.

something to make you smile

Ok, in case you haven't been keeping up with this, here is our Olympic Golden Boy... isn't he pretty? (as in, really prilly) And if you'll look closely you can see the beautiful Brad Pitt V-muscles on the sides of his lower waist- what are those muscles even called? I have no idea. All I know is that Brad Pitt (and Michael Phelps) has them, and I do not. Today's been a frustrating day at work, so I needed this to make me smile. I figured I'd share the love. Tonight is more Olympic viewing over at Emmy Sue's (hey- I already know who won- this time difference is kind of cool) and heading downtown later with Rhonda Lu to see Andy Davis. I'll leave you all with a great line from one of his songs:
"and when it gets down to it I hear background music when I see you."

Olympics commentary

Alright- you had to know it was coming... they happen every 4 years and you know I'm hooked: the latest Star Wars movies- no, of course I am kidding- we are talking about the election. Also though, for 2 weeks the world's most reknown athletes compete for billion dollar endorsements, and a paid vacation to wherever the Olympic Games are held. Oh yes, and to win medals and recognition for their countries- we can't forget that. So last night the 3 Amigas had an impromptu Olympics viewing party at my house- planned earlier that day, but that's about as impromptu as I get- see Planned Spontaneity for further explanation on this subject. We had a blast laughing at all the funny (read: non anglo-saxon) names such as swimmer Peter van den Hoogenband (God bless you) and Qui Hi (tee hee). We also came upon the universal truth that all swimmers are Hott- and yes, that's hot with 2 ts because they are just that nice to look at. I know I said I was through dating younger guys, but for one 19 year old in particular, I would make an exception. If you don't know who I'm talking about, then where have YOU been?? (This kid is also one of the ones focused more on endorsements than winning medals, but who can blame him? You gotta strike while the iron is hott).
Anywho- my viewing compatriots think this certain cutie patootie wears his swim pants a little too low- they claim it leaves too little to the imagination- well to that I say, I must have a bigger imagination than you two, because I can imagine plenty! Plus it shows off that nice little Brad-Pitt-V-muscle on either side of his lithe figure. Sorry. What was the point of this? Oh yes- gymnastics was The event to watch last night as our American boys won a silver team medal. How fun is it that we have 2 twins on the team? Americans just love a good story like that- the Hamm twins compete last on the apparatus and save the day- by the way- we were discussing this last night- what is the plural of apparatus? Apparati? I will close by saying that while Morgan and Paul are adorable to look at, and I marvel at their strength, they should not open their mouths to give interviews because they both sound like girls- almost to the degree of a male version of Kerry Strug. Yeah. It's that bad.

Could he BE any more lame?

Alrighty, so I know the weekend has come and gone, but all in all it was a fairly calm weekend- I was even in bed before midnight on Saturday- write that one down in the books. The 2 notable events that occurred were A) seeing singer/songwriter Jeffrey (Buns-of) Steele at 3rd & Lindsley on Friday night (YEAH we did!) and B) going to the first pre-season Titans game of the year against the Cleveland Browns. Props to Rhonda for the Awesome (YEAH they were!) 2nd row, south inzone seats. Our little impromptu tailgating party was pretty fun too. I spent the entire time trying to think of Dom Deloise's name, only to find out later that he's not the chef I was thinking of. He's not even a chef! Who knew? And Rhonda got the Chandler award for the weekend (Hi, I'm Rhonda, could I BE any more on a Chandler kick?)
But we're back at it again folks. I've definitely got a case of the Mondays, but I'm putting on a happy face in order to please my adoring fans. So here's the anecdote of the day. *All names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent*
My friend- we'll call her Louise- gets this email from this guy at church. He's asking her out even though he just met her that morning, does not even know if her name is in fact Louise, is moving in a week, and apologizes after every thought- in fact- this stuff is just too good to be made up, and since we're protecting the names of the innocent anyways, I have to let you read some of the original quotes from this guy's sorry pick-up email:
"I am sorry that I didn't ask for your name but you were in your meeting and I didn't want to make it akward. If that isn't your name...I totally apologize! I was distracted by your definite cuteness." [ok, #1, creepy and stalker-ish. #2, completely lame way to begin an email, and #3, we are in church for goodness sakes! You don't hit on a girl and ask her out after meeting her once- and judging by his email, after not actually having met her- what does that say about your motives??!!]
"Hey listen, I know that I will only be here for another week but you seem super cool and if you aren't seeing anyone...which you probably are... but if you aren't let me know and maybe we can do dinner or desert sometime before I leave next weekend." [and You seem like a super-dork. Again, I question the intentions of our young Romeo... we are in TN... you are moving to CO... what exactly do you hope to gain by this conquest?]
"I can't believe that I just did that!" [neither can we, my friend]
As I told my friend Louise, a few good things came out of this email:
1. a very good laugh on a Monday morning
2. a forewarning to run in the opposite direction in case this gentleman decides CO is not for him and moves
back to TN
3. a new standard by which to judge stalkers and/or lame pick-ups
ie. "Oh, he totally just pulled a Jichael Mett on that one!" or, "well, it's fine if you email him, but just don't
get all Jichael Mett on him" [I know we said we were changing the names to protect the innocent, but
girls, if this guy tries to ask you out, you need to know who he is! Sorry to bust up your game Jichael.]

I think the word you're all struggling to find is tool.

What's copasetic got to do- got to do with it?

Friday the 13th... ooh, spooky (insert twilight zone music here). All in all, it's been a fairly normal day considering a category 4 Hurricane is in the process of hitting Florida full force (I am fascinated by this- kind of like the car accident that you don't want to look at, but you just Have to- so I am glued to the weather channel right now), I dropped half of my lunch on my light khaki pants at lunch today, and my mother hit my car backing out of the driveway this morning. (Honestly- how she didn't see my bright red car- parked directly behind her nonetheless- is beyond me.) Both Mikey (the Beetlebug) and Thomas (the Avenger) were ok luckily.
Random sidenote: I just thought about this- is it weird that 2 of the cars in my family are named after males? Someone- I can't remember who- got onto me the other day because they said all cars are supposed to be females. I disagree. I have had Thomas since I was 16 and he's named after a very dear friend. Plus, I told this person (fess up if you're reading this, b/c I can't remember who I had this discussion with), I am not a lesbian. I want a boy car. End of random side note.
Now. I learned a new word last night and thought I'd do my civic duty and educate the masses: copasetic. This just very well might go on my list of favorite words. Hunkering, by the way, is going on my list of Not Favorite words- as in, the people of Florida are hunkering down, preparing for Hurricane Charley. Copasetic, as it were, means that everything's balanced, and on an even keel. I even pulled a George W at our SOGWEAW lunch this afternoon and commented on the un-copasetic weather or something. There were those dissenters among us who claimed that un-copasetic is not a word, and to that I say, oh, so next you're going to tell me that gruntled isn't a word either, huh? Well, this gruntled girl is mediocrely plugging along, waiting for 5 o'clock to come so she can enjoy her copasetic weekend. So there. Ari- that was for you. Jinx you owe me a post.

the 7 stages of a relationship

Hump Day is almost over- this is a good thing because it means the weekend is approaching- Finally! Is it me or has this been the Longest week ever? I've had a ton of stuff going on these past few days. Well, maybe not a Ton- that would be exaggerating a little- but more than normal- how bout that? Ok- well I've settled on that, so moving on. Tonight I drove an hour north of Nashville to Clarksville to have dinner with Mitchell. The funny part about the drive tonight (funny ha ha, not funny strange) is that it took me an hour to get there and a half-hour back- kind of like when your grandparents would tell you they walked 2 miles to school, and 4 miles back, only opposite of that. Anyways, we laughed about how he was not funny (ironic? I think so), he got pissed at me for trying to watch baseball (was it My fault his back was to the tv? And come on, it was the Marlins/Cards! I Never get to see FL play down here!), and then he proceeded to ask me just what it is I am looking for in a relationship, "since we're past all that stuff" he said. Then Mitchell gave me his list of 7 stages in the natual progression of a relationship:
1. sort of talking
2. talking
3. more talking/ early stages of dating
4. dating without labels
5.dating with quasi-labels
6. boyfriend/girlfriend
7. serious relationship
This may not be verbatim, but I still think it is pure crap, but he is a guy, so what do I know? Judging by our conversation, he is apparently not content that he and I did not ever actually date, although I have a stuffed pink elephant that cost him $45 dollars to win for me at Gattiland. Correction. Had. The elephant is no longer in my posession. He doesn't need to know that though.

Planned spontaneity

So my dear friend Jill calls me last night and asks me if I want to go get coffee. No, I say, I do not want to get coffee, as it is my free night and I have a list of things I need to get done (literally- I make lists on paper. Otherwise I'd never accomplish anything.) I don't do well with spontaneity I tell her- now if we were to plan ahead for tomorrow night to get coffee, now That I can do. I have been accused by more than one person about not being spontaneous enough, but you know what? I don't care! Planned spontaneity is what I'm all about, I tell Jill. For example- we are spontaneously planning to get coffee tonight at 8 after my meeting. As far as I'm concerned, planning this only one day in advance is about all the spontaneous-ness (take THAT George W!) that I can handle. So you're a control freak huh, she says. Yes. Yes I am. Which leads me to my new favorite joke. Here is our interactive blogging for the day:
Me: Knock knock
you: who's there?
Me: Control freak! Ok, nowyousaycontrolfreakwho!

But is wanting to make the best use of your time such a bad thing, really? I pose this question to the dark void in hopes that it will answer me. So good night, dear void. (Rhonda Lu, that YGM quote was for you!)

Weekend update

Why is it that I continually cram so much into my weekends that I am more tired on Monday mornings rather than being rested from my 2 days off? Because we live for weekends, not the week, so I suppose it makes sense that we cram more of "life" into those 2 short days. Anyways- as you can tell, this one was a busy one. Friday afternoon began with a fun shopping trip with the future roommies to Hillsboro Village where I purchased the Kate Spade book "Style"- an apartment essential for any DIVA- I'll let you know how it is once I flip through it more. Then we hit Metropolitan Deluxe over in Green Hills where Rhonda and I co-purchased more apartment necessities- fun coasters. Yes, that's right. I said coasters. I'm not going to spoil it and tell you what's on them though. You'll have to wait. (It makes you want to come visit the 3 Amigas and have a beverage so you can become coaster-enlightened doesn't it?) A little Moulin Rouge viewing rounded out the evening. Now Saturday night is the fun evening out on the town. I won't bore you with the details of my Saturday except to say that of course I made an appearance at the Bradley Beach & Resort (also known as my backyard) since it was sunny. Another girls night out in Nashvegas helped us celebrate Emmy Sue's birthday. Rhonda, Lana, Emmy Sue, Karla & Lauren (Em's friends) and myself went to the oh-so trendy Nashville hot spot, Chu. We gals felt like we had just stepped into an episode of Sex & the City, only with a southern twist ("Ohmygosh, YALL, look at those lights!") . The place was amazing, minus our waitress who got up on the wrong side of the tiki bar that evening. I proceeded to write her a little encouraging note with my bill at the end of the night explaining to her her that being rude to your patrons does not ensure you a good tip share. I've worked in a restaurant, so I felt justified in giving her some advice. If you do go to Chu, beware of the wall of beads. One way leads to the bathroom, the other leads you smack into a wall, or in Grant's case, another takes you to the kitchen. We took the party with us and headed over to the new place on Demunbreun, On The Rocks, where Emmy Sue got us the VIP treatment and got us in without a wait- she knew the bouncer. Honestly, I could have done without that stop for the night. It was more fun the weekend before- that night it was just too crowded. So we decided to get our groove on and head to Johnny Jackson's Soul Satisfaction. I mean, come on, where else can you dance to Usher, MJ, and sing along to Young MC and the Beastie Boys with a guy you just met? This is classic stuff people. We all got a good workout shakin it like a polaroid picture, and it was nice to have cutie-patootie Grant along to rescue us from the men who just could not resist our dance moves! All in all it was a great but late evening- especially for someone who had to be up 3 hours later, but totally worth it. Now it's Monday and we're already planning our next 2 day hiatus from work. 4 days and counting...

Divas-in-training

Thank goodness it's Friday, is all I've got to say. Well, no, that's a lie- that's not ALL I've got to say- otherwise this would be a very short post, and I'd hate to disapoint my adoring fans. It was brought to my attention yesterday by my soon-to-be-roomie Emmy Sue, that any true DIVA would have a link to the greatest cosmetics sight ever on her blog. And I completely agree. I have to warn you though, Sephora is addicting. However, you will find fun and exciting items to make you look and feel like a DIVA. I highly recommend anything by stilla, but esp. the eyeshadow. You put it on in the morning and it stays on till you take it off at night. Any true DIVA will also tell you that you shouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg to get what you want out of life, and this is why my favorite store in the entire world is Target (pronounced Tar-shjay). And guess who's new apartment is getting a Target bulit just a coupla miles down the road? Oh, joy, oh, rapture! Finally, another Emmy Sue tip for all the DIVA wanabees out there- it's a dailynewsletter! for any savvy chick out there who wants to be in-the-know so be sure and check it out. All the cool kids are doing it.

Dave does Nashvegas

OMG, this guy rocks my face off! He was so great last night- and I swear, the concerts just keep getting better and better. While I was disapointed that he didn't play Crash, my all-time Dave Fave, I was excited to hear Granny, Crush and Satellite. He also played some old, old stuff that he hasn't done in a while, and then of course, mixed in the 4 new ones he's been playing this summer. I wasn't too crazy about the random stuff he threw in there (Cry Freedom? I mean, come on Dave, what's up with that?) But we girls had a great time. Lana, Courtney, Janelle and I met some Phi Delts from USI and hung out with them all night. Good times were had, even though it poured down rain before the show even started. True, I felt like crap this morning, but it was all worth it. It does suck being in the "real world" though, where you wake up, feel like crap and Still have to go into work. There is no skipping class anymore. It's not optional. Someone should change that I think. So while everyone else I was with last night was sleeping soundly this morning, my disoriented self had to get me here to the good ole' B&J. Which by the way, sleeping in my new contacts: not a good idea. I did not enjoy that experience. But much love to George & Laura for putting me to bed and waking me up this morning, respectively.

Hurricane Alex

Ok People! Who's excited about the official start of Hurricane season?! This is a pic of Hurricane Alex that just scraped by the outer banks of North Carolina. It was only a category 1 hurricane, so nothing to get too worked up over. But if you'll notice out there in the Atlantic there are 2- count'em, 2- tropical depressions making their way towards us as we speak. Now don't get me wrong here- I don't revel in other people's misfortunes. I don't want houses destroyed, vacations ruined, and lives endangered- but I just Love the anticipation of a storm hitting, and the power of these tremendous systems facinate me. As the weathermen count down the hours of an approaching hurricane they always have that one idiot guy down by the coast with the rain and wind whipping around his jacket that's about to fly right off him. And if they catch on film debris flying being him in the background, well folks, that's just a Good shot. And have you ever noticed how they always tell you to evacuate- don't go near the water because of the storm surge and dangerous winds, and where are they? Yes, you are correct- right in the middle of it. All for the sake of bringing us the latest news . These guys are absolute heros. Heather B, I know you feel me on this, as you have your own personal relationship and admiration for Raleigh meteorologist, Greg Fishel.

Squirrell

This is the squirrell picture I was so excited about yesterday! Now,doesn't he look like he'd make a great pet?

Why squirrels make good pets

Grr. Another slow day at work. And I have all of these witty, insightful things to share with you but I need the capability to put pictures with these thoughts. My conscious tells me that it would be not such a good idea to download the necessary program to do this here on my work computer. So alas, you will have to wait till the end of the day when I can get home before you can share in my thoughts for the day- there's this one pic I found of a squirrel today laying on a fence that is just Funny... But you'll have to take my word on it for now. You know, people say squirrels are mean, but I still think they would make great pets if we could just domesticate them the way we have with dogs and cats. I mean, who decided that a 60-plus pound animal with huge teeth that sheds constantly and has a loud obnoxious bark would be fun to have indoors? (Well that would be Laura and I when we convinced our parents that Stockwell was a cute puppy. But I digress.) Seriously, squirrels are tiny in comparison and would be great with kids if you just de-clawed them and taught them not to bite and burrow in hard to find places. More to come later on the plight of the squirrel. Stay on the edges of your computer chairs like I know you are.

Chitown

Horror of all horrors! We walk into Chitown last night, which is my favorite place to go out in Nashville- and instead of the two dueling pianos blasting Bon Jovi's Livin' on a prayer, Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline, or my personal favorite, Kenny Roger's Lucille, we instead found 3 leering and dorkish guys playing guitar on a makeshift stage. "What??!! No pianos? What is this, we asked?" And upon further investigation, my friend Scott says the dueling piano guys are no more. Nashville, we must fight to bring them back! We have enough joints that feature idiots playing Dixieland Delight on the guitar. We need our karioke piano. We need our classy night out on the town complete with $9 chocolate martinis. We need Chitown back the way it used to be. if anyone has any information on this matter, feel free to post your response, or email me directly, and in the meantime, write your local congressman and tell them you want the dueling pianos back at Chitown!

SOGWEAW mascot

Oscar, our SOGWEAW mascot
For those of you who don't know, SOGWEAW consists of women in the workplace who send emails to each other and sometimes end up having e-conversations via email on company time. We promise we keep this correspondance to a bare minimum when possible (yeah right!) Oscar is our official mascot as deemed by Ally Joy at the KAIROS planning meeting. Our little friend the caterpillar turned kamikaze on us when he suddenly leapt several feet from the deck railing onto the the deck floor (and several feet in caterpillar terms is potentially fatal). Luckily our hero made it, and hence was dubbed, our mascot. So there you go.

Christian

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin." I'm whispering "I was lost," Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain, I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.

Author ~Maya Angelou~