Thursday, March 01, 2007

Getting out of my comfort zone

I have no shame. I am here for your entertainment, and so I don’t mind telling this on myself. In the middle of my spin class this morning I came to a horrible realization. I was pretty certain I had forgotten to pack a very important female undergarment. I was 99.9% sure that I didn’t remember throwing said female undergarment into my gym bag last night when I was packing. After class I get into the locker room, and sure enough, I hadn’t packed one. Well crap. Okay. Not to panic. I am not exactly a DD, so maybe with the 2 shirts and cropped sweater jacket over it I could get away with being-oh what the heck- braless- today. I called my sister on the way to work and she laughed at me and quipped, you’re pulling a “Sue Ellen Mishke.” I didn’t know what she was talking about, so she had to explain it to me, but all you Seinfeld fans out there will get a kick out of that.

I went to work, but I spent the entire morning being self-conscious of how cold I was, and sat in our morning meeting hunched down under the table as much as I could be, keeping my arms crossed. By 10:30 I couldn’t take it anymore, so I clocked out and went to the mall to make an emergency purchase. I headed straight to Vickie’s because I had a coupon for $10 off their new bra style, and you also got a free panty (that word in singular form always makes me cringe) regardless of whether you bought anything or not. So I figured I’d kill 2 birds with one stone.
I shared my dilemma with a sympathetic salesperson, and she sent me in the right direction. Several minutes later, after I had decided on a bra I liked (Not the new kind, by the way) I pushed the call button, and asked the saleslady who came over if she could take the gray sensor off the garment and hand me the sales tag so I could wear my new purchase out of the dressing room, but of course, take the tag up to the counter to pay for it.

I’m sorry. You can’t do that, the voice on the other side of the door said to me.
You’ll have to come out and pay for it and then change.
Here’s where I lost my temper a little.
Look, I said flustered. I forgot my bra today, I’m already in here, and if I have to go out there and pay for it and come back in here again, then I don’t want it. I’m trying to get back to work!
Well, she said, I’ll have to go see if I can do that.
I heard her asking another salesperson, and finally the salesperson handed me the bra over the door, sans gray-theft-sensor.
Thank you, I replied.

Minutes later when I opened the door, ready to book it up to the cash register, the saleslady who met me at the door was a girl I happen to know! I was embarrassed that I had gotten so huffy with her as she handed me the sales tag for my purchase, and so I apologetically explained my predicament to her. I’m not sure if that helped or not, because I then had to explain to the ladies at the counter all over again the situation when I handed her a tag to scan and no bra attached to it. Come on, I can’t be the only person who has gone to the gym and forgotten an undergarment! They made me feel like an idiot, so needless to say, it’s been a very, ahem, uncomfortable, day so far! Why do these crazy things always happen to me??!!


Rhonda Lu said...

oh. wow. THAT was an awesome story! Here is where Rhonda Lu wears the sports bra (even if a lil stinky) instead of going commando up top.

I still love you though!

Anonymous said...

your stories are legend. i heart you.

Mary Anna said...

Seriously. MA wears the sports bra too. And she might take it a step further and wash it in the sink and dry it under the hand dryer. Or, MA decides that she needs a day off.

Amanda said...

the black sports bra was sweaty, and would have been visible since the top i was wearing was a scoop neck.

Mark Kelly Hall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark Kelly Hall said...

"Why do these crazy things always happen to me??!!" These things happen to everyone (not this particular one in my case, you'll be glad to know)...but not everyone has the guts and good sense of humor to share them.

Ask Kay Arthur, world-renowned and "beloved" Bible teacher, about the time she dropped her microphone into the toilet right before she got up to speak to a very large group of people...she was hoping it would work anyway, but when it didn't she told everyone what happened. That's class.

Anonymous said...

yep - I would have had to call joel and tell him I was extremely ill - you're hilarious!