Thursday, August 24, 2006

Not Fair

Where have all the rednecks gone? Guess they don't go the Wilson County Fair on a Thursday night- it must be too far to drive from out in the country on a week night. Not too far for us though! The 8 of us- Emily, Natalie, Mary Anna, Sarah, Lisa, Mandy, Lana, and me met up after work tonight and drove out to the legendary Wilson County Fair. After posing for the perfect photo op in front of a display with several bales of hay (hey, that's what gaggles of girls do!) we entered into the fairgrounds.
First stop was checking out several of the animals on display. We saw mini-mules, cows, Buddy the ice cream churning horse, Llamas, and Alpacas. After snapping several pictures and saying "Tina, eat your FOOD" about a million times, we proceeded on our quest to find the pig races before it got dark. After hiking all the way across the fairgrounds, our mouths watering at the aroma of fried food at every turn, we found the races in time to see goats, pigs, ducks, and the grand finale- the Vietnamese pot belly pigs race. Natalie was crowned "Pig Queen" of the last race because pig #6, the pig she was selected out of the crowd to root for, won the race. She got a blue ribbon and everything! (Way to go, FR!) That'll do Pig Queen, that'll do.

Next stop: dinner. We fared well; we saw the Taco in a Bag stand again this year, but decided on other delectable delights for dinner. Some got corndogs, others got hamburgers. I opted for the regular hotdog and a big glass of sweet tea. I did manage to refrain from getting the french fries since I knew I would want something sweet later on in the evening. We scarfed down our fair food and it was off to the rides. I will skip to the next important part of the evening- snack time. Sure, the rides were fun- some were disappointing (Hello, can we say Tilt-a-whirl? Sucky music and no spinning!) but we all know that the whole reason people go to fairs are to eat fair food!

I was on a mission to find the one booth with the fried Oreos that we had passed earlier on in the night, which sounded like maybe one of the best food creations ever invented. I could have just gotten a funnel cake, but seeing the Oreos, I was intrigued, and no other food could satisfy this craving. I found the booth and stood in line, getting all the way up to the front, when I saw a sign that said Fried Oreos: 6 for $5. Well I didn't want 6 Oreos, and I certainly didn't want to pay $5 for them either, so I made the girl at the counter an offer.
"Do you have to get 6?" I asked her. "I only want 2. Can I just pay you 2 or 3 dollars for them?"
You'd have thought I just asked the girl what the square root of 47 was as she gave me this blank stare and then panicked. I had interrupted their perfect system apparently. So she turned to ask another lady in the booth with her-
"this girl only wants 2 fried oreos. Can we do that?"
The other lady looks in my direction, and says
"no, you have to get 6."
So I stared back at her and stood my ground.
"But I don't want 6 cookies I told her. I only want 2. Either you can make $3 or you can make nothing."
She, being a very bad business woman, and a champion for the growing obesity problem in America, also stood her ground, and she made nothing from me this night. I was both aggravated and pleased at this result- aggravated because I marched away empty-handed and still craving those dadgum fried Oreos, but pleased because I had made my point and stood up for what I believed. (Seriously though- who in their right mind needs to eat 6 fried Oreo cookies anyways?)

Nothing else was going to satiate my craving for a fried Oreo, so I bought the first sweet thing I came to as I stomped away- a caramel and peanut coated candy apple. It was only fairly satisfying. So then I bought a cup of fresh-squeezed lemonade to wash down the caramel, all the while thinking about that Oreo. (Man... even now as miserably full as I am, that fried desert still sounds wonderful!) We started to make our way towards the exit of the fair when our curiosity is piqued by a booth selling cheesecake, some dipped in chocolate. A lady tells us this woman's cheesecake has won the prize 3 years in a row now, as we marvel over the sweets, and a man standing in line to purchase his own slice of heaven gushes over the desert he has yet to buy and says it's the best cheesecake you'll ever have, and that he comes back every year to the fair to get some. My sweet tooth is still unsatisfied after not getting that Oreo, and I am an easy sell at this point, so I buy a slice of turtle cheesecake. The man and woman are right- it is pretty amazing. But it is so rich that I cannot even finish one slice even with Lisa helping me eat it. I regret ever buying it as I tossed almost half of it away in a trash can just as we are about to walk out of the fair, and am still fairly annoyed at the unfair fried oreo lady.

Oh well. You know what they say. Life's not a fair.


emilyb said...

LOVE the picture of Tina!

Anonymous said...

i just wanted to say i love reading the blog. you are such a good writer. love you!!

Mary Anna said...

Yes, I have lots of bumps and bruises from the Himalaya, my screaming friend.