Thursday, September 07, 2006

"I wanna quit the gym!!!"

Day 4 of the Darcy Plan, and Lana, Sarah, and I are going strong. I couldn't help but giggle this morning as I remembered a Friends episode where Chandler wants to cancel his gym membership. His catch phrase is a panicked, "I wanna quit the gym!" Here ya go, for your recollection enjoyment:

Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandler`s wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?

Chandler: Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I`ve missed the last 1200 times.

Ross: So why don`t you quit?

Chandler: You don`t think I`ve tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.

Ross: Who is Maria?

Chandler: Oh Maria. You can`t say no to her, she`s like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.

Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?

Chandler: No!

Ross: So you`re strong enough to face her on your own?

Chandler: Oh no, you`ll have to come.

[Scene: Chandler`s gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]

Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Now remember what we talked about, you gotta be strong.

Chandler: Yes. (In a stronger voice) Yes!

Ross: One more time, "Hey, don`t you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs?"

Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts!

Ross: Good! That`s good!

Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.

Gym Employee: You wanna quit?

Chandler: I wanna quit the gym.

Gym Employee: You do realize that you won`t have access to our new full service Swedish spa.

Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a "Be strong" sound.) I wanna quit the gym.

Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters.

Remembering this episode this morning and recounting the story to Lana while we walked to the locker room with hot coffee in our hands was apparently too much to ask. We both spilled scalding coffee on ourselves in the process of laughing. Hmm. Must remember to handle one thing at a time. Spinning? Check. Coffee? Check. Walking and talking? Not so much. Oh well- guess I have my trusty gym membership to assist in my eye and hand coordination technique.


Anonymous said...

i wanna quit the bank!

Mary Anna said...

YMCA, I wish I knew how to quit you!