Thursday, April 26, 2012

Confession Time: My Love for Fast Food, Part Two

Confession Time: My Love for Fast Food, Part 2:

So I took Bradley's to Mickey D's.  It was a long drive from the church to the McDonald's.  First I had the internal struggle.  Do I go?  If I do, will I actually get a salad?  But I never get to take him to McDonald's, and he really, really wants a Green Lantern toy that they're giving away in the Happy Meals.  No one will ever know.

That little white lie is what I told myself!

So I told Bradley where we were going for lunch.  No going back now!  I pulled into the parking lot, filled with guilty anticipation.  We walked into the place, and up to the counter.  It's now or never.  Do I or don't I?  Bradley's too little to rat me out, and it wasn't likely that I would see anyone I knew.  So quickly, hastily, I committed to my sin.  I ordered a cheeseburger.

I got B situated first and then I salivated unwrapping that intoxicating quasi-beef patty.  Suddenly I felt as though I could feel the people around me judging me.  It was like they knew I was about to cave.  But I couldn't help myself.  At that moment, I made the decision that if eating a cheeseburger was wrong, then I didn't want to be right!  I even reasoned with myself, of all the ways you could be cracking under pressure and eating meat, is this REALLY the time and place you want to do it?  Again, yes, I told myself that no one would ever find out.  I could haughtily stare down everyone else's beef the next time I was confronted with it, and they would never know my dirty little lie.

Let me tell you, imagined judging stares from McDonald's strangers or not, that cheeseburger was delicious and I inhaled it!  It complimented perfectly the sweetness of the ketchup with the saltiness of the fries.  And to wash it all down with a fountain drink was the icing on the Coke.  Each savory bite of the fried beef, tiny onions, and slightly stale bun was a piece of heaven.  Oh, how I have missed you my longtime friend, I thought, as I guiltily savored every morsel.

I moved our tray into the play area so I could finish my fries while B played on the playground.  It was apparent to me that he was not going to finish his hamburger.  That burger was staring at me, begging not to go to waste.  So what did I do?  Well of course I finished it for him!  I was like a drug addict going back for more crack.  The burger was before me and I simply could not resist.  Each bite was filled with both satisfaction and guilt.  Everything I've stood for these past several months was out the window right now, as I ate my not-really-meat, genetically modified corn, antibiotic-filled slab of fake meat and cheese on a bun.

Later, when the inevitable question came up as to what I had at McDonald's, I was like George Washington.  I could not tell a lie, and the confession came pouring out of me.  I was so ashamed, and disgusted with the antithesis of organic food that I had just willingly put into my body.  And yet I was so strangely satiated and satisfied as well.

Epilogue:  Since that dark day, I am back on the wagon, and but I suppose this is an addiction with which I'll always struggle.  At least they say knowing's half the battle.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

oh. my. goodness. I have been on the paleo diet for about a week. No sugar, no processed food, no dairy, no bread. As I was reading this post I about caved and put my car on auto pilot to the nearest fast food restaurant. It's hard but every now and then you need to break the rules. That one burger won't kill you. All in moderation my friend!