Be Careful What You Pray For

New job + New iPhone = Blog shifting to the bottom of my priority pile.

But I've promised myself I wouldn't give it up because I love writing too much. So even if it's just me writing and reading, even if some of the silent lurkers don't want to, or can't figure out to post comments with a Google Account (There IS always the anonymous route, I'm just sayin... you can type your name, even), I still have life events I want to document, current events to comment on, and perspective to share. Today's post is a long time coming, and the moral of the story is this: Be Careful What You Pray For ... because it just might happen.

Backing up, I shared 2 prayer requests for 2011 with my Small Group/Sunday school class at church. 1) For Bradley & I to have a place of our own to live, and 2) For me to trust God with my finances and commit to tithing. Now here it is 2012, and while I don't yet have a place of my own to live, I do believe that God honors our prayers and He's not on my timeline, so even though the year has come and gone, doesn't mean that my prayers were in vain. My other request had to do with finances. As a single mom, it's tough to make ends meet. I won't play up the circumstances because I know there are many moms out there who have it worse than me. Still it's tough when almost all of my small income goes towards paying for daycare and gas to get to work. So it would be easy to hoard my money in the name of being financially responsible and promise Jesus that I will start my giving once I have a better job, or once I have X amount in savings, or once I have a house... but those events-to-come are never ending, and I know there will always be an unexpected emergency to pay for, or some fun opportunity out of the blue that costs more money that I had planned on spending. So I understand that the time to give back to God is now.

You hear over and over that if God gives you a little, and you are trustworthy with what He gives you, He'll give you more. I'd tithed to church in the past, and I support missionaries and other causes, but my 2011 resolution was to be consistant with tithing as a starting point, with the intent that it would become a habit and I would give more down the road.

So that's the backstory- I was praying for my finances in 2011, and asking God to help me trust Him. Well when God's people start praying, God gives you tests aka opportunities to strengthen your faith.

About halfway through 2011, some residual effects from my divorce left me suddenly, soley, legally responsible for over $10,000.00 in credit card debt. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth the day I found out about my new predicament, and yep, I absolutely blamed God. "Why am I being punished over and over?" were my cries to Jesus. "It isn't fair, this isn't my fault." So I did what believers do when faced with trials. I prayed. A lot. And I asked a lot of you to pray with me. After a few weeks, I came to the realization finally that the amount of money being asked of me was so great, that I had no choice but to pray. Anything smaller and I would have come up with a game plan, and figured out my payments with the credit card company, and set to paying off debt for the rest of my life. BUT (and God is funny like that) the amount might as well have been a million dollars as far as I was concerned. So I reached a point of peace where I left it in God's hands. I made some phone calls and I wrote some letters (God certainly has blessed me with the gift of writing, so again, the credit goes to Him) but one day I called and discovered that the debt had been erased. 100% gone.

Not to get all hyper-spiritual, but it was like my own real-life example of Jesus dying for my sins- forgiven in an instant with no way to repay Him- the grace and mercy of God at its finest. I was overjoyed. This was a real-life miracle. We all know what shape our economy is in, and credit card companies don't just wipe away thousands of dollars just because. But I prayed to trust God with my finances, and in that time of financial stress, I got my opportunity.

I share this story not to place blame on anyone, and not to glorify myself, in fact, I felt guilty for not praying more during those months, but I share this to show how Awesome God is. Modern day miracles do happen. I didn't hear God speak to me, but I did read lots of Bible verses about trusting God, and I sensed a peace wash over me when I realized this was just one of those things I was gonna have to trust Him with.

Be careful what you pray for, because God hears your prayers, and will honor those prayers in His time. It makes me wonder how many other prayers I might have flippantly offered to God, and then not followed through. Maybe a challenge or an opportunity presented itself but because I wasn't doing my part in spending time talking to God about, or making sure my heart was lined up with what God would want, I missed it. Anyways, this was one of the biggest events of 2011 for me, so I wanted to share it with you.

God hears our prayers, and He is Good All the Time.

Remembering Mark

Every year when November 6th rolls around, I pause to remember my cousin, Mark.  I was 16 on this day fifteen years ago in 1996 on the day that Mark lost his brief, albeit fierce, battle with cancer.  Mark had just turned 15.  This October, he would have celebrated his 30th birthday.  It's hard to fathom how much time has passed and how different things might have been.

Mark's death had a profound effect on my life.  I was in my formative teenage years, and just beginning to understand what it meant to follow Christ.  I could not reason why God would allow Mark to have been taken unless He had some really important job for Him up in Heaven.

Even now as I am walking with God more deliberately, I still don't fully understand why bad things happen to good people, and I can't wait to get to Heaven, to either ask God as soon as I get there, or else have reached such a state of enlightenment that I won't need to ask.

But every year, on this day, I will remember Mark, and his motto of "No Fear," his smile and his courage through it all, and it strengthens my faith because I refuse to believe that this is all for naught and that there isn't a loving God behind it all.

A tale of two trees

I found this picture of a tree.  How would you describe it?  Green-  leafy- alive?  Now what if I told you it was an apple tree?  What good is a barren apple tree?  What use is a tree bread to bear bruit that for whatever reason, doesn't?


I have pondered this question a lot lately in relation to my faith. 


There are a ton of verses in the Bible that mention our faith in relation to bearing fruit. Sure, the ultimate goal for us is to accept Christ as our savior, and in doing that, we become truly alive.  We are born into a new life that even death cannot take away, but once we reach that point, are we really living, or are we just green trees?  Sure, we may weather the seasons, and get our nutrients, and even grow some... but what if the purpose for which we were created was never fulfilled?  Christ may be our savior, but is He our Lord?  And if not, does that really matter?  I mean, our salvation is already assured, right?


When we become a Christian, we accept Jesus as our savior, but to allow Him to be Lord (master) of our lives, means we have to have a deeper relationship with Him; we have to nuture that relationship, feed it, prune it, and in other words, we have to bear fruit.


If we don't bear fruit, we are living a shadow of a life.  And I for one am tired of being a living, albeit barren, apple tree.  I'm ready to fulfill my destiny which God had in mind when He created me.  And I'll know when I get there. Galatians is pretty clear of the signs:

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Shown at the right is the exact same apple tree.  I've got a ways to go.  I've already got a savior.  Now I need a Lord ... and maybe some apple pie a la mode.

Bathing in the Bible

While reading Bradley stories from his children's Bible tonight, we got to the story of Jesus' baptism. Is it Big Jesus' bath time, he asked?

Not guilty

You may not judge me, but that's okay, because I judge me enough for the both of us.

I carry around with me a tremendous amount of guilt for working outside the home and leaving Bradley at daycare every weekday.  The pangs of guilt hit me every single morning when I drop him off, and every afternoon when I rush in to see him.  But as a single parent, I just don't have that luxury of staying home with him anymore.

I walk in embarrassment and shame of being a divorced, single parent.  When I meet someone new, and it comes up in conversation that I have a 3 year old son, I instinctively hide my left hand, especially at church, lest they find out I have a kid, but (gasp!) I'm not married.  Why?  There are enough divorced people in the world that I'm sure people don't bat an eye at my bare left hand, but for some reason, I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I have that uncomfortable conversation in my head where I assume I know what this new acquaintance must be thinking.

For over a year I have been judging myself harshly for these two offenses, and there are many more counts I have against myself as well.

So that's why something Mike said this morning in church really struck a chord with me.  He summoned up the image of a courtroom, when he remarked to a friend years ago how he always felt like he was on trial in his head, constantly beating himself up for his failures.  God was there, sitting as the almighty judge, and there was the prosecutor, exposing every sin in accurate, truthful detail to the judge.  This friend of Mike's reminded him that it was unconstitutional to be on trial with no representation, and that he in fact, did have a defender sitting at his table.  That defender is Jesus, and he intercedes with God on our behalf.

It was such a refreshing reminder, because I too have Jesus sitting at my table, and you do too, if you allow Him to.  I wish I understood why it was so easy to preach God's grace to others, but being unable to accept that free gift myself.  I guess I just need to remember that for all those crimes I commit, someone greater than I, with the authority to do so, has already served the sentence, bailed me out, paid the price- whatever metaphor you want to use, and my record has been expunged in the eyes of the judge.  I have been declared "not guilty."  Who am I to argue with that?

Worship Wednesdays: Making a joyful noise

Tonight I made a joyful noise unto the Lord, and it felt great!
After a long hiatus, I am back singing in the Worship Choir at Brentwood Baptist Church. Singing does wonders for my soul, and I'm so happy to be leading worship again, and so thankful for the relationships I know I will begin (and pick up where they left off) through this ministry. My heart aches every Sunday, even after all these months of being back in Tennessee. The praise and worship time during Sunday morning service covers the gamut of emotions for me. I cry almost weekly. Either a song proclaims that same brokenness and need for the Lord that I am experiencing, and I weep silently while I sing the words that ring true for me. Or perhaps it's a joyous hymn, and I am so grateful at what God has done for me, that I weep tears of joy. Or the saddest one, we will sing a chorus that we used to do at Midway Baptist, my church home in Florida, and I will weep, grieving for the life that I have lost.

Music is one of the strongest way I personally commune with God, and so I finally feel that I am ready to take that next step towards healing from the divorce, and sing from the choir loft once again. You'll be able to spot me from where you sit- I'll be the one wiping my eyes in between the songs! Or maybe not. Maybe I will be the one grinning from ear to ear because the Lord has healed me of any pain and sadness! Whatever it is, I am so glad to be using the gifts that God has given me and making a joyful noise for HIM. And he will heal me and use me for his Glory in his way and time. My job is just to follow... and to sing!

Worship Wednesdays

Yes, I realize I'm posting this on Thursday night.  I'm a day late.  So sue me!

Since it's Easter week, today's focus on worship will involve a really cool Easter cookie recipe that I heard about from a friend last year. They're called Annie's Resurrection Cookies, and you can download the recipe here. The idea is that you make them with your kids, while you tell the story of Jesus' resurrection, and then enjoy the cookies on Easter Sunday, after the cookies have magically "risen" overnight, and are hollow inside to represent the empty tomb!
Now I can't attest to the taste of these cookies (one of the ingredients is vinegar, after all) but the meaning behind them is amazing. The recipe also gives you several scripture verses to read with your kids while you make the cookies, but I will likely skip this part with Bradley this year as it's too detailed for him, and focus on simply telling the story of Jesus instead.
Hey Readers:  Let me know if you have made these cookies, or end up making them this year!

St. Nick's Day

To the 2% of the population who know what this holiday is and celebrate it, Hope you've had a wonderful St. Nicholas Day.  I tried explaining what St. Nick's Day was to Bradley on our way to daycare this morning, and he thought we would be going to Nicholas' house!  I think maybe he got the hang of it tonight when we discovered what St. Nick had left in each of our stockings.  This was his face as we brought him his stocking tonight!

 Showing Mommy his new Elmo ornament

 Even the dogs know they get something on their stockings on St. Nick's Day- here they are waiting for their treats to be unwrapped.

 Bradley and I with our stockings

 Bradley with Grandma B & Papa...

ps- the secret to getting him to smile in these pictures? He has candy in his mouth!!!

I am on track to making this a good Christmas for us this year.  I can't spend a ton of money, but I'm making sure the gifts I do buy are thoughtful and not just haphazard purchases.  Bradley can sing most of Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and he knows who all the characters of the manger scene are.  Even though he's little, I'm trying to make sure he understands that while Santa Claus is fun, it's not what Christmas is all about.  Plus when I have my down days during this holiday season I remember the true meaning of Christmas myself, and realize I have so much to be thankful for.

Daily Walk This Way

I'll be honest... at my lowest of the low this past spring I was getting up early and reading and praying every morning. Lately as I've felt less desperate for God, and more self-assured, I haven't done as good a job of doing my daily quiet times. Truthfully, I am probably reading my Bible 3 nights a week right now, and my conversations with God are short and sweet. The only place I've been devoted is in praying with Bradley every single night before bed. It's part of our bedtime routine. But how can I raise Bradley to know that God loves him and cares for him when I'm not truly modeling that dependence on God myself by making quiet times a priority? What I really need is my own bedtime routine, or first-thing-in-the-morning routine, to make my daily time spent reading my Bible and talking things out with Jesus more habitual again. I'm about to have some serious accountability though.


Our church is launching an initiative called the Daily Walk to help its members read through the Bible in a year. It begins Friday, October 1st, starting with a few chapters in the book of Matthew, and finishing up 2010 with the book of Revelation. That's right- between now and the end of the year we will complete the entire New Testament.  You can click here on this link every day and it will tell you what chapters to read. It even has a link to the chapters online so you can read the chapters right from the convenience of your computer if you so choose.

On one hand, if you're not currently reading your Bible daily, this is a great way to start. On the other hand, a girl in my Sunday school class brought up this point- even if you are reading your Bible religiously every day (pun intended), how powerful must it be to have so many believers reading the same scripture every day together?

I am excited about doing this, and have the added accountability that mom and dad are also going to be reading daily along with me. I'd love to know if other BBC-ers are doing this too, or even if any other friends & family would like to join me and Daily Walk this way with me!

Spiritual Bitamins

So, I've gotten out of the habit of working out since I started working.  (Ironic, no?)  Used to, when I'd take Bradley with me to the Y, on our way out I would let him reach into the plastic fishbowl on the YMCA desk and get a rolled up strip of brightly colored paper upon which a Bible verse is printed.   Bradley was always excited to get his "Spritual Bitamin."  On our way out to the car, we would always read the verse aloud, and then on the way home, Bradley would play with his spiritual vitamin, usually crumpling it to bits.

This past Saturday morning I went to Zumba, and as a surprise, I brought Bradley home a spiritual vitamin.  This was the verse written out, which I thought was sweetly appropriate:

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.  Proverbs 22:6

Brother Dennis-isms

Y'all have to know how much I loved my pastor at Midway Baptist Church in Florida.  He was a big teddy bear of a man, a great storyteller, had the best sense of humor, was ultra-conservative, and was an unapologetic preacher of the Word of God.  He simply tells it like it is... and then embellishes a little bit to make a great story!

I have a journal where I keep track of quotes I like, and I went through my journal last night where I keep all my sermon notes and found these jewels that I then transferred to my quotes journal.  They are so funny and simple and profound that I thought I'd share some of them with y'all.

• All sunshine and no rain makes a desert.
• You have to do away with stinkin' thinkin'.
• Stop worrying, or worrying will stop you.
• There's no U-haul pulled behind a hearse.
• Stop being in a hurry when God's not.
• If you want a king, be a queen.
• You can't have all jelly beans and no green beans.
• Sometimes it's the bland leading the bland.
• Don't give to get... unless you're giving to get to give!
• You can't be a leader without being a follower first.
• Never confuse your net worth with your self worth.
• I always sing that prison music.  You know, where you're always behind a few bars huntin' for a key!
• Money talks.  It says "Bye!"
• You can't unscramble an egg.
• Anything with no head is dead, and 2 heads is a freak show (referring to wives submitting to their husbands)! 
• There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.

Marking the day

November 6th, 1996 is a day that I will never forget. Just 4 days after my 16th birthday, my mom took me out of school early so I could go and get my driver's license. I passed easily, and to celebrate afterwards, we went to the mall to get lunch. As I sat across the formica table from mom, sunlight pouring in through the skylights of the food court of the Cool Springs Galleria, I realized something was wrong. As I looked at mom, I knew there was something she wasn't telling me, and when I inquired she finally broke down and told me that my cousin Mark had died that morning. She didn't want to tell me earlier because she didn't want to distract me from taking my driving test. Through the shock and sadness I realized that every time I stared at my driver's license, my happy face smiling back, that the date, November 6, 1996, the date my license was issued, would always hold a much different meaning to me.

Mark was a year younger than me, and had been diagnosed with brain cancer the fall of my freshman year. If I remember correctly, the doctors gave him 6 weeks to live when he got the diagnosis. Mark proved them wrong and lived for more than a year afterwards. His illness brought our family together in a way nothing else has since, or will ever do. My entire mom's side of the family dropped what they were doing in the fall of 1995 when Mark was fist diagnosed with cancer, and we all made the trip up to Wisconsin to visit with Mark, my aunt and uncle, and the rest of my cousins. The weekend was bittersweet because we were all together, but no one knew how much time Mark would have with us.

Summer of 1996 came, and we began a legacy of annual 4th of July parties. All of mom's side of the family made the trek down to Tennessee, Mark and his family included, and we swam in the pool, ate way too much food, and set off fireworks. The parties have happened every summer since then, with the exception of one, I believe the first summer mom and dad moved into the Franklin house. Now the parties are held in Cannelton at my aunt Lisa's house, but it's still a lot of a fun, and a great excuse for everyone to get together. Had Mark never gotten sick, we probably never would have began this tradition. Something greater came of this tragedy for me personally though.

When Mark passed away 13 years ago today, I was already a Christian, but like anyone I struggled with the difficult questions about life and death. Why are we here? Why do good things happen to bad people, and how could God could be in something so sad? I reasoned then as a teenager that God must have really needed Mark for some other special purpose, a purpose that could not be fulfilled on earth.

Some people lose their faith in times of crisis, but my faith in Jesus is what got me through that experience, and facing that crisis strengthened and shaped my faith more so than any event has in my life. I could not fathom a world where life or death does not matter, and there is no afterlife, or purpose for living, and so the pain led me to Christ, and solidified my belief that He is in everything, even if we don't understand it. As I have matured in my faith, I understand that while God does have his hand in everything, He doesn't necessarily cause something to happen, but we can't know His mind or His purpose. Instead we must trust that He is in control, and that we do have a purpose. God created us to glorify Him, and by following His example set by Christ, that others may know Him, and know their purpose in life as well.

Every year on this day I think about Mark, and think about how old he would have been. But I also cling to Jesus and remember that I am not in control, and surrender my life to the one who is.

Good news

Thanks to all the prayers that were said for me, Bradley, and everything surrounding our doctor's appointment this week. The hematologist called me yesterday with the outstanding news that Bradley's labwork came back totally normal. After hearing this news and emailing my pediatrician, Bradley is in the clear. No more doctor's appointments, and no more iron drops! I must have breathed the biggest sigh of relief ever yesterday after hearing that news. Thank you Jesus for protecting my little boy and keeping him healthy. And thank you to everyone who prayed with the faith that I could not muster.

I honestly thought the doctor would tell me Bradley had a mild condition, so that was the focus of my best-case-prayer scenario. But luckily God is bigger than my limited faith and he gave us a great diagnosis. As Lisa Thompson's mom would text, PTL!

cautiously optimistic

We just got back from the hospital a little while ago, and right now I'm cautiously optimistic. The hematologist seems to think Bradley does Not have the blood condition thalassemia, but went ahead and did more blood work to check his prognosis. We should hear by Friday the lab results and then go from there. Without going into all the specific details, the doctor has good reason to believe Bradley's numbers are just on the low side of what's considered normal. Thank you for all the prayers lifted up. To have a diagnosis overturned that his pediatrician was certain of is nothing short of a miracle. I told God that's obviously what I would want to hear, but that we would trust Him with whatever the outcome. Honestly I prepared myself to hear that Bradley had a mild for of thalassemia, and had done so much research on the disease, that when the doctor told me his thoughts, I was rendered speechless! My list of questions I had prepared was now moot, and all I can say is that God is good.

Like the Desert Missed the Rain

After attending Midway Baptist Church for almost a year, we made our membership official yesterday. It's a small church (for me) of fewer than 500 people, and your typical Ready-To-Sing church for all you current/former Brentwood Benson-ites. The pastor is a big Teddy bear of a guy who's a authentic Cajun from the Louisiana bayou. If you've never heard a Cajun accent before (and I hadn't before hearing Bro. Dennis preach) it sounds like a cross between a deep southerner, and an Australian! Plus he's always throwing french Cajun words in his speech too, so it makes for some entertaining sermons, as he is the consummate story teller!

Right now we are going through Psalm 23 verse by verse, and I LOVE this style of preaching, dissecting each verse. I know there's a name for this style of preaching, and I forget what it's called but I love it. It's pretty much the opposite of what Mike Glenn usually does, though I love his preaching as well! A few Sunday's ago, we watched this "Deep Thoughts From a Shallow Christian" video about Greed to open up the message, and I thought it was so funny I had to share it with you!



Yesterday Brother Dennis focused on verse 4 of Psalm 23,


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.



He talked a lot about the valleys in our life, how they are inevitable, but temporary, why they happen, and how to get through them. Brother Dennis said, "You can't have sunshine all the time, and no rain or you'll have a desert." Such a simple statement, but it was so profound to me! I joked to Brian on our way home from church that we must be living in a tropical rain forest because we seem to be getting hit constantly with hard times, but in all honesty we are blessed. Listening to that sermon yesterday I realized I am so guilty of wanting to live in a desert, wanting warm sunny days (both literally, and figuratively) every day of my life. And I am subject to pout and complain when it rains (yes, again literally & figuratively).


Sure, I prefer the sun, but it's the rain that makes us grow. So to celebrate my new found respect for the rain in my life, I bought 2 hanging plants for $10 yesterday at Lowe's! What a great deal, huh? And I am striving to keep my positive outlook on life, no matter what the circumstance.

Weddings and Funerals

This past weekend was full of ups and downs.  Brian, Bradley, and I made our second trek up to Tennessee for a wedding and a funeral, both for which I was asked to sing.  My childhood friend Dana passed away last Monday night.  She was a seemingly healthy 27 year old girl, who was there one day and gone the next, making it the most heart-wrenching funeral I have ever attended.  I forced myself to hold it together until the end, after I sang Amazing Grace.  What do you say to the mother who tells you she wishes it had been at her daughter's wedding and not her funeral that she had wanted you to sing?  

Dana's passing was a reality check for all of us.  We know we are never promised tomorrow, yet we live like we have an eternity.  As I ran through the words of Amazing Grace in preparation for the service I found a glimmer of hope at the end of the third verse:

Through many dangers, toils and snares we have already come

twas grace that brought us safe thus far, and grace will lead us home.

I realized after hearing these words again that God is with us in the best and most difficult times.  He will never leave us, and by leaning on Him we can get through whatever life tosses our way.  It's so hard not to question God when He takes a person in the prime of their life, but I have to go on believing that there is a reason for everything, and know that in the Big Picture, Jesus is in control and will lead us safely home if we will let him.  

That same day after the service, we piled in the car and drove up to western Kentucky for my friend Ellen's wedding.  Ellen and I were potluck roommates our freshman year at UK and have stayed friends ever since.  I was so honored to sing for her special day, and stand next to her as a bridesmaid.  

About an hour outside of Nashville I realized in horror that I had left the cd for the song I was supposed to sing in my car (dad was driving)!  Luckily we were near Clarksville, so dad hopped off the interstate, pulled in front of a Hilton Garden Inn, and we used his laptop to steal internet from the hotel, downloaded the track again, and were back on the road in minutes.  Once in Princeton, Brian bought some blank cds from the Walmart down the road, and I had my soundtrack to sing along with for the rehearsal that night.  I heart technology!

We stayed in this shady motel in Princeton, KY- hop over to TAR for a long overdue shout-out to all things not right.  For a small town though, Paglia's where the rehearsal dinner was held had some of the best pizza and service I have ever had!  Ellen said that place is the only sit-down restauraunt in Princeton, but buddy, if that's the only place I could go to eat I'd be one happy camper!  

Ellen and I at Paglia's Pizza

Saturday was a gorgeous day, sunny and 80 degrees.  The ceremony was beautiful, held in the quaint, country Crider Baptist Church, and Ellen was the picture of the classic bride, complete with "Shelby hair!"  I have never been to a sweeter wedding- the church was surrounded by corn fields, the food was in the fellowship hall, with a tent outside.  Along with the usual nuptual fare they served homemade punch and lemonade, cream candy, country ham and biscuits, and Ellen handmade white chocolate suckers and individually wrapped them for guest favors.  Bless her mom's heart, Betty was up at 5 am making those biscuits and ham, but they sure were tasty.

Freshman Friends:  Stephanie, Ellen, and me

Mr. & Mrs. Jason Mach

Ellen, our gorgeous Bride

One funny story was that some old white haired lady turned around and asked Momma B how old Bradley was.  Mom replied that he was 3 months, and wasn't he just the cutest grandbaby ever?  Grandbaby, the woman exclaimed, I thought he was yours!   My mom got the biggest kick out of that, and it sure made her day!

Congrats and Best Wishes, Ellen and Jason!  I'm done with weddings for a while- it's been a hectic season, but next on our list is the Big One:  Laura & George on March 14th, 2009!  The countdown is on!

a not so quiet riot

Please pray for South Africa. This country and their people are very near and dear to my heart. I don't know if you've seen any stories on the news lately- but it looks like riots that started in Johannesburg between native South Africans and refugees from other countries have spread to other parts of the country including Cape Town. Mike and Pam Talley are missionaries from Brentwood Baptist Church serving in Cape Town right now, and their blog has updates on the goings-on in Cape Town.

Acting on Acts

I started reading through the book of Acts last night with Brian. We each read chapter one on our own and then talked about what we had learned last night on the phone. It spawned a great conversation where I shared with him my discontent with the modern church, and how I do not understand how we got from Acts chapter one, the first century church, to the Mega churches of today. Brian also brought up the phenomenon of reading a passage of scripture that you've read a million times before, but discovering something new every time. Today I experienced that very thing.

I read Acts chapter 2 on my lunch break with what I feel are fresh eyes, and an open heart. I read about God pouring out his Holy Spirit on us, and how God's timing was perfect, saving Pentecost for a time when many foreigners were already in Jerusalem for a feast, so that they were able to witness God working and take the gospel back to their countries. I read the final verses of Chapter 2, and cherished them, about how the first century believers lived together, ate together, prayed together, gave everything they had to one another, and "the Lord added to their numbers daily." Where was that model in today's churches?

With those words fresh in my mind, I then began my book club book called Irresistible Revolution, about a guy who became disillusioned with the modern church and set off to form his own grassroots ministry, sharing Jesus with people on the streets of Philadelphia, and living out his faith practically. From the few pages I've read in the author's introduction it sounds like he is taking seriously the command to share the gospel and does it in a way reminiscent in the book of Acts. I am so anxious to go home from work today and dive further in this book because I think it's just what God has meant me to read right now!

Lead us not into temptation

This is something I'm currently wrestling with. So how do we deal with spiritual warfare? We grab our "sword." Here are some verses on dealing with temptation:

Matthew 4:1 [ The Temptation of Jesus ] Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.

Matthew 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Mark 14:38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Luke 22:40 On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation."

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

So what does this teach us?

• God does not tempt us; temptation comes from Satan
• I can pray to avoid temptation, or I can pray for God to help me deal with it when temptations arise
• Jesus came & lived the perfect life- and if He was tempted during His life on earth, so will we.
• God tells us to watch- meaning we have to be ready for it to come.
• God doesn't say He won't let us be tempted- but He does say He won't let anything be thrown at us that we can't handle with His grace and mercy.

Sometimes I just need a reminder. Especially "on reaching the place."

Jesus take the wheel

I echo MA's sentiments that my blog has lacked some depth and transparency lately. Perhaps it's because I've been lacking depth myself and merely surviving the hectic schedule of performances that have consumed my life this year. The play is halfway over, and I breathed a big sigh of relief last week when I had that break. We all go through those phases in life when we get so busy that we stop planning and calculating every move and just attempt to keep up, but when things finally settle down, we can look around and say, what am I doing?!

That's how I feel now; spiritually more than anything (although other things like careers and working out have taken a back seat too). I haven't been in/leading a Life group since August and I'm really missing that accountability and scheduled time of Bible study. It's also no coincidence that my friendships have suffered since most of my very good friends were in my small group, so I took for granted that I would always see them all at least once a week. Now weeks go by before I see some of them. I feel like we are growing up and going in different directions, and no matter how hard I am hitting the break peddle, the cars keep zooming down the interstate of life! I'm not such an idealist to think that the pace of life will ever slow down, but I'd be more okay with it if I were in the HOV lane with several friends in the same car, rather than driving by myself and catching them on their cell phones during commutes.

I don't have any answers for this problem of time and scheduling- at least not until the play ends in another week (wow, is it really that soon?!), but God has really been pursuing me to dig deeper in spiritual life. To be perfectly honest (there's that transparency we were lacking on here!) I have been convicted lately about gossiping, so I started looking up verses about gossip & speech. I noticed that most of the verses that deal with this topic are in Proverbs. So I've committed to reading through the whole book this month, one chapter a day, and that's going well so far. God is drawing me near with all kinds of questions for Him, and I've had some great conversations with believers and non-believers about my faith, so I know He's working all things for good. So for now, I am tapping the breaks, and reminding myself that in this journey we call life ("wow. what a journey") that I am not the one in the driver's seat.