Sunday, January 02, 2011

A Repurposed Frame of Mind

This week Brian and I had mediation where we signed all the papers, and settled our divorce.  In a few weeks, it will be final.  As a new year has come I am filled with questions of how this new year will go, and how different it will be.  Right now I'm picking up the pieces of my old life and trying to start a new one.

I have this silver frame that we got as a wedding present.  I really love this frame.  In it used to showcase one of my favorite wedding photos of me and Brian.  Tonight I have symbolically taken out the wedding picture, and in its place I plan to frame one of my 30th birthday cards- one that has a cartoon picture of a beauty queen on it that proclaims "Viva La Diva!"  But as poetic justice would have it, when I took the old wedding photo out of the frame, a large piece of the photo paper has been residually left behind.  So tonight I got out the Goo Gone, and set out to clean the glass so that I could re-use the frame.

How appropriate, I thought ironically as I scrubbed the paper shards off the glass, that I am replacing the old wedding picture with a proclamation of my singledom.  As I scraped the glass with the Goo Gone and a paint scraper I was also reminded of a conversation Brian and I had with our pastor Brother Dennis in what seems like ages ago.  He was talking to us about the importance of the vows of marriage, and how when two people marry, their lives are glued together.  He analogized that when they get divorced, the two pieces of wood are torn apart, but the wood doesn't split neatly.  It splinters.  And some of your life is irrevocably connected to theirs, and little pieces of their life are irrevocably connected to yours.  And the splintering of the wood is painful.

Just like my picture frame; I can take the wedding photo out, and put in a new picture, but pieces of the old photo are stuck on the glass of the frame.  So with a little elbow grease, I will clean the glass, and perhaps in the right light you still might be able to see the outline of the old picture, but that's okay with me.  Or maybe there will be faint scratches on the glass from the paint scraper- evidence of the scars left behind, but it won't take away from the cheerfulness of the Diva birthday card encased in that silver frame now.

It's going to take some hard work and scrubbing, even now the Goo Gone is soaking on the glass, but I believe I can repurpose that frame, and make it house something beautiful once again. So that's what I plan on doing, both with that frame, and with my own life.


Rachel said...

Beautifully written! You should have gone into journalism. You're good at it. Hoping this year you find peace, comfort, and ultimate healing from the splinters.

MamaB said...

As always---your writing amazes me and the analogies are perfect. I know 2010 was a rough year for you and Bradley, but I know you will make 2011 a great year for you both. I love you.

Kim and Josh said...

I love this post and it sounds like you're coping, dealing, healing, and moving on. And yes, someday it will house something beautiful again. :) You deserve so much more!

Natrudy said...

Simply stated, I love you, and I am for you.

aboysmommy said...

Very well said!

aboysmommy said...
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