Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A Bedder title could not be found

Bed medicine... the good, the bed, the ugly... In spite of everything, not doing so bed... or how about this one:  a Really Bed pun!  Ha ha.  I amuse myself at least.  I've spent the past few weeks not blogging, and this is the best I can come up with?  A story about my mattress and bed frame?  Yep.  Sorry, not all the glamour and pictures you had hoped for.  But here I sit, typing away when I should be sleeping.  That will come back to bite me in the rear when Bradley wakes up at 2am wanting to eat.  But oh well.

So long story short:  the Bradley family curse for bad luck has followed me to Florida.  But you didn't come here to read the short story, so here we go.

Last summer Brian bought a new bed.  It was supposedly a full/queen size bed.  He also bought a full-sized mattress and boxed springs.  The length matched up, but on either side of the bed was a gap of an inch or two.  One day, Brian knew that one of us would lose our balance and step through the gap breaking an ankle or worse.  I can only assume this inevitable accident would have been mine.  Fast forward to this past weekend when Brian fell asleep with a cup of lemon water in his hands, and spilled the entire contents on our bed.  Since then I have tried and tried to soak up the water and the stains, and the more crap I spray and blot onto our mattress, the worse it smells, and the dampness remains.  For days now we have awoke to damp sheets and damp pajamas.  Daily I wash our musty damp sheets, and daily I clean and blot the mattress.  Nothing has worked, and our foul-smelling mattress appears to be ruined.  

Turns out in the middle of our dilemma, our neighbor Paul has a brand-new Queen sized mattress and boxed spring he is selling.  Brian and I decide to buy this to fit our queen sized bed and kill two birds with one stone- get rid of the gap in between the bed and the mattress, and get rid of the stinky wet mattress.  Tonight Brian brings over the new mattress, and of course it doesn't fit.  "Why can't anything be simple?" Brian laments, but the feeling is all too familiar to me- the Bradley curse has followed me here.  

3 measly inches too short are our current bed rails.  Apparently the furniture store sold us incorrect bed rails last summer?  Or the furniture company itself makes irregular sized beds?  (doubtful)... so I emailed the company to find out about the possibility of acquiring new rails in the correct length, and of course the store where Brian bought the bed is no longer in business, making a transaction with them impossible.   There is also a store in Pensacola that sells this brand of furniture, but they were closed when we called.  That's on tomorrow's to-do list.

So as of right now, we have one boxed spring, one stinky mattress, and one footboard outside on our patio, and we have one queen sized mattress and boxed spring and one freestanding headboard inside.  The predicament now is, we just replaced our better quality yet ruined mattress for a newer one, now must we replace our bed frame as well?

Brian got so frustrated in the midst of the storm tonight that he proclaimed he was going to bed.  "Do you not see the irony and humor in that?" I called in to him from the other room.  He was not so amused.  


natalie said...

I'm so glad you finally blogged! I've been checking every day! I just can't get enough.

Bart and/or Ari said...

hahaha! ok, so brian doesn't appreciate irony, but i sure do. love it, but hope it all gets worked out for you.

emmysue said...

oh man, that stinks...literally. i hope you get this resolved soon. too bed (ha!) Sweet Sleep doesn't do domestic!

Sallie said...

Ok, ok, I know that this is a totally miserable situation, but I am so amused. Last week I bought a new full/queen duvet cover and a down comforter to go inside. Well, the comforter was about half the size of the duvet, dang it! I double checked the comforter, sure it was mistakenly a twin, but no, it was a full/queen. What the heck!? Aren't these things supposed to be standard? I'm proud of you for maintaining your sense of humor. :)