Thursday, April 12, 2007

Jesus take the wheel

I echo MA's sentiments that my blog has lacked some depth and transparency lately. Perhaps it's because I've been lacking depth myself and merely surviving the hectic schedule of performances that have consumed my life this year. The play is halfway over, and I breathed a big sigh of relief last week when I had that break. We all go through those phases in life when we get so busy that we stop planning and calculating every move and just attempt to keep up, but when things finally settle down, we can look around and say, what am I doing?!

That's how I feel now; spiritually more than anything (although other things like careers and working out have taken a back seat too). I haven't been in/leading a Life group since August and I'm really missing that accountability and scheduled time of Bible study. It's also no coincidence that my friendships have suffered since most of my very good friends were in my small group, so I took for granted that I would always see them all at least once a week. Now weeks go by before I see some of them. I feel like we are growing up and going in different directions, and no matter how hard I am hitting the break peddle, the cars keep zooming down the interstate of life! I'm not such an idealist to think that the pace of life will ever slow down, but I'd be more okay with it if I were in the HOV lane with several friends in the same car, rather than driving by myself and catching them on their cell phones during commutes.

I don't have any answers for this problem of time and scheduling- at least not until the play ends in another week (wow, is it really that soon?!), but God has really been pursuing me to dig deeper in spiritual life. To be perfectly honest (there's that transparency we were lacking on here!) I have been convicted lately about gossiping, so I started looking up verses about gossip & speech. I noticed that most of the verses that deal with this topic are in Proverbs. So I've committed to reading through the whole book this month, one chapter a day, and that's going well so far. God is drawing me near with all kinds of questions for Him, and I've had some great conversations with believers and non-believers about my faith, so I know He's working all things for good. So for now, I am tapping the breaks, and reminding myself that in this journey we call life ("wow. what a journey") that I am not the one in the driver's seat.


Mary Anna said...

I know how you feel. I'm proud of you though. Part of defining priorities is living life to discover just what those priorities truly are.

So excited about spending some time with you today, friend-o-mine!

Mary Anna said...

BTW, I like the sprinkling of green!

Bethany said...

Be encouraged Amanda! Use this time of uncertainty to really press into what God wants to say to You. And although God does guide us, He wants us to "take the wheel" and put forth some effort in our relationship with Him. But He certainly has answers to all of our questions about ourselves and life!

Mark Kelly Hall said...

I like the HOV metaphor; this is the stuff good writing is made of!

And the gossip thing: I can't relate to that because I don't do it...but do you know who does it CONSTANTLY? I'll tell you later.