Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tales from the Penthouse

My morning pilates got interrupted by one very disturbed roommate, Rhonda Lu, whose worst fears were realized in the shower this warm and sunny a.m. She burst into the living room, glasses on and towel wrapped around her and begins The Story. Rhonda had just hopped into the shower this morning and for one reason or another, she didn’t have her contacts in. Well, as she squinted she saw a blackish blob at the far end of our shower. Rhonda jumped out, reached for her towel and glasses and realized she had a little friend trying to get squeaky clean as well. This unknown species of multi-legged bug was promptly sprayed by, what else, Glade Air freshener, and it was right after this that Rhonda ran into the living room horror-stricken to relate the tale.

With the pilates video paused, we bravely marched back into the bathroom. I swear I could hear the music from Psycho playing in my inner monologue as I asked Rhonda where the bug was, and slowly peeled back the shower curtain. We squealed like, well, girls. This thing was huge! (In all actuality, it was probably only an inch or so long, but in bug size, that’s ginormous!) What followed were my feeble attempts to drown this uninvited visitor by splashing water on him, Rhonda dashing off to the kitchen to see if we had any bug spray, me hollering in a panicked voice, “it’s not working! It’s not working! Bring me a shoe!” Finally Rhonda appeared back in the bathroom, producing a can of Raid, and I ran out of the bathroom to grab a flip-flop because the darn thing was still wriggling. I figured, better to put him out of his misery quickly. A few swats later, the scary bug was smashed and wrapped up in not one, but two paper towels and promptly thrown away. “You’re my hero!” Rhonda exclaimed, and I’m feeling pretty heroic myself, not being the hugest fan of bugs in the first place. (I figured I owed her from that time I made her fish her perfume bottle out of the toilet while I stood by as an innocent bystander.) So crisis averted, we went on with our mornings. But if it’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, these things never come in onsies. Where there’s one, there is more. And how many more showers will it take before the horrific sites are erased from our minds, and the paranoia disappeared every time one of us pulls back the shower curtain? We must be brave. The cleanliness must go on.

5 comments:

wiccachicky said...

Ewww...I would have screamed too! Yucky.

Anonymous said...

just so you know, windex works probably just as well as glade. i figure that if i'm not supposed to inhale it, neither should they. ~ari

jillymae said...

lol at ari and all of you!

Rhonda Lu said...

That thing was at least 2 inches across thankyouverymuch.

kev j daniel said...

down here in texas we have these things called mexican water bugs -- they have probably been introduced all over the us now, or may be native, i don't know ... but they are big, ugly, and winged... they resemble cockroaches, but flatter, just as detestable... they have been known to carry off yorkshires, and break small childrens legs...vile, viscious... ya'll couldha lost rhondalu, ya know that