Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bobbing for Urine

I awoke this morning to hear Emily and Rhonda talking about me outside my door. This was a good thing though, because I had overslept and would not have gotten up if it weren't for them. Wonky-eyed and completely out of it, the way one usually is when one oversleeps, I stumbled into the bathroom where Rhonda is getting ready for work. (Sidenote: wonky is the word we use to describe Britney Spears' eyes. They are weird looking- check them out the next time you see a pic of her. But Laura says I have wonky eyes in the morning before I've showered and totally woken up too.) You have to know also that our toilet is a pain in the butt and doesn't usually flush correctly the first time. You have to wait a second, think happy thoughts and talk nicely to the toilet to coax it into flushing the second time. So I've flushed for the first time this morning when Rhonda leans over the counter next to me to do something, and all of a sudden, something falls into the toilet. I am still out of it at this point, having just woken up, and so I stand there with this confused look on my face, and we both peer into the toilet to see what it was that has leapt off of the counter and into the porcelain pool. Rhonda lets this cry of despair out as she realizes it's this little sample bottle of perfume that she loves. By this time Emily is at the door to see what all the commotion is, and we all debate on what to do.
"Man, I really loved that stuff," Rhonda whined.
"Well I have a bottle of it, you can have mine" Em says.
"Yeah, but that still doesn't solve our dilemma," Rhonda and I both say.
"We still have to get it out."
So I (still not fully awake despite all the excitement) give Rhonda this expectant look, like, "okay, well, get it out!"
"I'm guessing by that look you're giving me that you want me to reach in and grab it." Rhonda says.
"Well why should I have to do it? All I did was stand up and flush the toilet! You're the one who knocked it in!" I retorted.
"But it's your urine!" Rhonda countered.
I won.
Emily, the resident genius, went and got a plastic grocery bag and instructed Rhonda to cover her hand and arm with the bag and reach into the toilet bowl and grab the bottle.
Reluctantly, Rhonda does this, much to the amusement of the other roommates.
Screaming and hollering the whole time, she cries that the bottle is stuck, and
"ohmygosh, I think my hand's getting wet! I'm getting your urine on my hand!" She says quite hysterically.
Rhonda flings the wet grocery bag into the trashcan and rushes to the sink to ferociously wash her hands, still squirming and screaming while Em and I are cracking up, and Emily goes and gets another bag and proceeds to try herself. She too gets wet in the process, but this time succeeds in getting the little bottle of perfume out of the toilet and into the trash along with wet grocery bag number 2. (Speaking of number 2, we are all just lucky that it wasn't. I don't think I could have handled that.) We are all dying of laughter while we discuss the blogworthy-ness of the event, hereby dubbing it, Bobbing for Urine, and Emily and Rhonda both declare their undying friendship for life after this episode.
"We stuck our hands in your urine!" They cry.
Only a good friend would do that for you. Blogworthy indeed I think.


daddy b said...

I still say it was th e best BBQ sandwich I've ever had..and the chips,can't say enough about the crunch!

Rhonda Lu said...

HA-larious! Wonderful play-by-play my friend. You make me proud. It was quite an experience and I feel a much deeper bond between us now. Urine big trouble if I ever have to do that again though.

emilyb said...

Ooooh...NICE PUN!!!

Adam said...

Emily, Rhonda, I can feel your pain! And I have a similar story that is quite unfit for print, which took place at a sleazy hotel on Murfreesboro Road many years ago. I'll tell it if you ask...

emilyb said...

Ooooh, I am intrigued. PS - what the heck are you doing awake at 3:36 am?!?!?!?

Amanda said...

Look who's commenting from work!! There's some kind of glitch in the system today. Hooray for technology malfunctioning!
Rhonda- I respond to your pun with another pun. If pee-ple wouldn't keep their crap all over the counters, it wouldn't have fallen into the toilet in the first place! ;oP

Rhonda Lu said...

There's a glitch in the matrix.

And my pun is better than yours.


jillymae said...

and aren't we glad the crap is just on the counter and not in the toilet! ;) nice double pun, manda, didn't even know you had it in ya, did ya?
just fyi for everyone, urine is actually sterile. i learned that in massage school. it's quite a misconception that it is germy. how bout that? admittedly, i still wouldn't want to put my hand in it either =)

Amanda said...

I actually did intend on the double pun but I was waiting to see if anyone else would catch it. James actually came up with the "best pun yet" on the whole thing but he's a dork and won't post the comment!