Friday, January 14, 2005

Hillbilly Porn

OK so once again it's totally freezing in my office. Probably because it's freezing (i.e. 40 degrees) outside too. Excuse me if I'm mistaken but wasn't it 65 on Tuesday? Insane! (Captain Insano!) So yes, I'm blogging today. For those of you who haven't caught on yet, this is Rhonda you're talking to. My Launchcast radio has made me really happy today. That's good because I am a sick little chick today :( Yesterday I developed "the black lung," as we call it now when someone in the Penthouse is sick. It's our throwback to Zoolander - " I got the black lung, Pop." I wouldn't have come to work today except I actually have a project to work on.

I went to the Bluebird Cafe again last night. One of the writers was Lee Thomas Miller, who wrote the "Hillbilly Porn" song - which is possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'd heard a lot ABOUT the song but had only heard parts of it. The writer said that some artists have put the song on hold, but then release it when they realize that once you get 20 miles outside of Nashville, no one "gets" the song. Which is why some of you probably have a quizzical look on your face right now. Long story short, there's a piece of "artwork" in the middle of the traffic round-a-bout at the end of Music Row. It's a 40-foot tall bronze statue of naked people dancing, or leaping, or whatever they're doing. You couldn't miss it if you tried. Needless to say it is VERY controversial, but it's still there and no one's vandalized it or put clothes on the people. So the song is hilarious and here's the lyrics (you might be able to find an MP3 if you Google it):

At the birthplace of song on beloved Music Row,
There's a picturesque place where a statue should go.
It could be Harlan Howard or the great Bill Monroe.
Why they chose naked giants, we'd all like to know.

Chorus:
And they're dancin' in circles and flittin' around.
The women look chilly, the men sure look proud.
If it makes you think dirty, go ahead, honk your horn.
Oh, the mayor done bought us some hillbilly porn.

The songwriters drive by five days a week,
At the crack of 10:30 we all sneak a peek.
Like a flash, something sparks in the creative mind.
That slut in the middle looks like my ex-wife.

Second Chorus:
And they're dancin' in circles and flittin' around.
The women look chilly, the men sure look proud.
We all speculate what the tambourine's for.
Oh, the mayor done bought us some hillbilly porn.

Now in the world of the arts, there's no wrong or right.
Up in New York City, they wouldn't think twice.
But down here the people are wreckin' their cars.
Nothin' says hit your brakes like big private parts.
And our mommas are shocked and the Baptists are mad.
The tourists are shaking their pink cowboy hats.
They say "Back home we've got NASCAR and corn.
But Nashville's got football and hillbilly porn."

5 comments:

Audrey said...

I can see how no one outside of Nashvegas understands the song, but it's stinkin' hilarious! My personal opinion is that the traffic problems have to do with Nashvillians misunderstanding the roundabout - let's face it, we've all seen naked people, but the roundabout is just novel.

Amanda said...

I LLLLLLOVE IT I-LOVE-IT-I-LOVE-IT!!!!!

RAAAGER said...

Bill Clinton wants to know how do you define the word "naked"?

emilyb said...

I heard it depends on what the definition of "is" is.

Anonymous said...

I posted the picture and the song on winnelliott.com