Monday, December 13, 2004

so much to do, so little time

Believe it or not, I am actually busy at work today (don't pass out or anything- I'm alright, really).

The weekend flew by, as they usually do, and I'll leave the big stuff for the Other Authors to blog about or comment on.

Yesterday Mike said something in his sermon that I thought I'd pass along for those non BBC members. Christmas without Christ is just 'mas, and 'mas just isn't a very good reason to buy things for people. I know we hear things like that over and over during Christmastime, but it's true. We need to be reminded because we are forgetful people. The Israelites had to be reminded over and over that God was in control and that was even with Moses seeing the burning bush, parting the red sea, and God showering them with manna to eat! How much more forgetful are we who are bombarded with electronic distractions, and not-so-tangible signs from God?

A funny thing happened (on the way to the forum) last night at our Christmas concert. About 10 minutes before we went on, our music minister Dennis looked at me and said, "Amanda, did Vikki talk to you about doing the first verse on I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day?" And I laughed and said no, learned the words on the spot and sang it in the concert last night. It was good that I didn't know ahead of time because I would have worked myself up over 4 lines of a Christmas carol. But the reason Vikki hadn't told me about the solo was probably because I missed dress rehearsal on Friday night. And why did I miss dress rehearsal? One, because it was Rhonda's birthday, and two, because I was aggravated that I hadn't been asked to sing anything for the concert, honestly. Feeling under-appreciated, I felt no remorse in skipping the final run-through of our concert. What a terrible attitude to have, I am ashamed to say, but then what a humbling experience came out of it. At the last minute last night I said to God, ok, I can't change my attitude from what it was, but I can change how I present myself to the congregation. No matter what the circumstances, my job is to sing in worship to God. I don't know how well that was communicated, but as I was falling asleep trying to finish my chapter of the Purpose Driven Life last night, I read a verse included in the text that said, if you are using your God-given talents then you are doing God's will. So often I feel trapped in my 20-something life and wonder, what am I doing with my life, what am I supposed to do with my musical abilities?, and then small moments like the Christmas concert solo happen.

I don't really know why I am telling you all this, except to be as real and honest as possible with you all- my friends and family, and perhaps the random onlooker, and say no, I'm not perfect by any means. For all conventional purposes I'm somewhat of a hypocrite even. I do things I know I shouldn't and say things that aren't reflective of what I claim to be- a follower of Christ. But I think that's the point- that none of us are perfect, we will all mess up, and God continues to swoop in and save us from our messes, and wipe the slate clean all over again.

Heavy stuff for a Monday, I know. We are all recovering from our respective weekends, and mine really was a blast. The Penthouse Pets did our Christmas yesterday, and may I just say, I love my pink Pilates mat, brooch, and macintosh-scented goodies (there's that word again!). Too bad I didn't get to use the mat this morning in lieu of coming in to work early to make up for all the hours I will miss this week. If possible, we'll be comin' atcha live from Knoxvegas later on this week as Weezer gets ready to wed Cubby. For A-DOR-able pictures of them, click here.


Adam said...

As I sit here in the studio listening to countless electric guitar overdubs on a song called--no joke--Honky Tonk B'donka Donk, I too wonder what exactly it is that I should be doing with my life, and if this job of mine is at all worth spending my time doing. So I appreciate your quote from The Purpose Driven Life and your story about the solo. Good stuff.

RAAAGER said...

Is it too early in the week for such thought provoking comments??? Thanks, for the reminders!

Kobosky262 said...

"...none of us are perfect, we will all mess up, and God continues to swoop in and save us from our messes, and wipe the slate clean all over again." - Bradley

I am so thankful for the reminder that God totally is in control. Even when I mess up royally, he is there to help me through the difficult and ashamed moments. Our Glorify him despite ourselves. Way to be there serving in the choir, way to sing, way to experience God is bigger than we realize! I love you. –shel

jillymae said...

"peace came and stole my shame, when You spoke my name" ~from the CD Undone, Mercy Me

you gotta love it when God speaks in those very personal ways, quietly and specific, that only we hear, to get our attention, to remind us what is really important, to let us know He IS still there, and our hopes and dreams are very important to Him =)